Words Of Wisdom ...
Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
Drive carefully. It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a watergun and shoot other people in the eyes.
If you’re not part of the solution, be part of the problem!
If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
If you can’t beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.
If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
Never buy a car you can’t push.
Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don’t have a leg to stand on.
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
You are what you eat. So stay away from the jerk chicken.
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
Drive carefully. It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a watergun and shoot other people in the eyes.
If you’re not part of the solution, be part of the problem!
If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
If you can’t beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.
If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
Never buy a car you can’t push.
Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don’t have a leg to stand on.
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
You are what you eat. So stay away from the jerk chicken.
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
3 comments:
hehehehe! You truly are inspirational.. Where the hell did you collect em?
totally funny !! and i loved that opening thing...a jar of jalapenos... hehehe... good work manju..
awesome babe!!! i just love it when u share these kinda one-liners.........remember we just cant stop lafing together........ u dont need the comments of you-know-who to tell u tht u r gr8!!!!
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