Ee gaalilo ooregu raagalalo
ee vela na manavini vinavaa
Ne oosule na gunde logillalo
daachaanule manasunu kanavaa
Nalo lo lona ninne choostunna
nuvve le na vida leni swaasalo
Roju nedalle ninne ventaade
kaalam kaada kadadaaka saagava

Cars speed by me
Laughing people walk my way
I stand still

I believe that life is different, but good;
that I bent but didn't break;
that you were good but not good enough;
that I am strong and getting stronger;
that there are always better days ahead;
that music cures a lot of ills;
that good friends are indispensable;
that bruised hearts will heal;
that tears dry up;
that life is beautiful, and so am I.

You can look, but you can't touch
I don't think I like you much
Heaven knows what a girl can do
Heaven knows what you've got to prove

I think I'm paranoid
And complicated
I think I'm paranoid
Manipulated

Bend me
Break me
Anyway you need me
All I want is you

Bend me
Break me
Breaking down is easy
All I want is you

I fall down just to give you a thrill
Prop me up with another pill
If I should fail, if I should fold
I nailed my faith to the sticking pole

I think I'm paranoid
Manipulated
I think I'm paranoid
Too complicated

Bend me
Break me
Anyway you need me
All I want is you

Bend me
Break me
Breaking down is easy
All I want is you

I think I'm paranoid
I think I'm paranoid

Bend me
Break me
Anyway you need me
All I want is you

Bend me
Break me
Breaking down is easy
All I want is you

Steal me, deal me, anyway you heal me
Maim me, tame me, you can never change me
Love me, like me, come ahead and fight me
Please me, tease me, go ahead and leave me

Bend me
Break me
Anyway you need me
As long as I want you baby it's alright

Bend me
Break me
Anyway you need me
As long as I want you baby it's alright

Lost & Found - Short Story

A little girl lost her favorite toy. The only toy she carried wherever she went. And by the time she could find it.Somebody else claimed for it. Lucky Somebody.

For Better or Worse...

Its 3:50 in the morning. I listen to the rain above my roof, the raindrops trickle sexily down the windows of my sun-room taking me back to time where nothing ever made sense in life.

Childhood is actually deceptively hard - politics of the school, bickering parents, cruel kids, strict teachers, loads of homework, and of course the stupid dating and the lousy aftermath. It's hard to be a kid. Every day you have a million questions and your only course of action is to save them up and then ask an adult - why? why? because why? how come?

But perhaps being an adult is harder still; life continues to present you with an infinite amount of questions, but this time around, there's no one to ask why. In fact, you learn quickly that sometimes there is no why, no how come. It just is. And there's nothing you can do about it.

At times I feel like screaming out so loud that the voices in my head are heard not just to me.May be I am just a coward or too naive to do that.

Why do people come and go? I hate it when people come in and I hate even more when they walk out. Yes I still support the idea or believe in the concept of free will. I would never stop and ask WHY. You want to leave you are free to go. But just remember when you are walking out you are just crushing a part of me which can never come to life again.

I totally dislike this cliche about life giving and life taking away. I don't think there is actually a replacement for anyone. Everybody has there own share when it comes to love and loss.

Just like Daddy says 'IT IS WHAT IT IS'.

And finally, A worse thing happened, and so did something good. Now I believe they exist simultaneously, even if it seems incongruous. I walked out of love, shattered but alive. My life goes on, love & happiness, loss & grief, all of it together in a jumble that's hard to decipher sometimes. I'm still trying to figure it out. And I'm think I'm lucky. Not just because I still have some people, but because for a time I had...



P.S. I am not sad sad sad or depressed. In fact I am happy... All thanks to my miel. I am just trying to clean out all the rusting thoughts from my stupid mind..

Well, it's true that I have been hurt in my life. Quite a bit. But it's also true that I have loved, and been loved. And that carries a weight of it's own. A greater weight, in my opinion. It's like that pie chart we talked about earlier. In the end, I'll look back on my life and see that the greatest piece of it was love. The problems, the divorces, the sadness... those will be there too, but just smaller slivers, tiny pieces...

"One week, one strong. One scared, one bold. I am beginning to understand that there are no such things as absolutes, not in life, or in people. Like someone said, it was day by day, if not moment by moment. All you could do was take on as much weight as you can bear. And if you're lucky, there's someone close enough to shoulder the rest."

Health secrets. Shhhhh.

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these?vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop.

Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?

A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories: animal,
mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are not animal, and they are not on the periodic table of elements, so that only leaves one thing, right? My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables.

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain - Good.

Q: If I stop drinking, will I live longer?

A: Nope. Drinking is a sign of individual statement and peace of mind. If you stop, you'll probably stress yourself to death in record time.

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: What's the secret to healthy eating?

A: Thicker gravy.

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? Cocoa beans... Another vegetable. It's the best feel good food around!



I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

Have a cookie... flour is a veggie!

Things to do Before I die …

1. Inflict a violent death upon my computer. Go all Office Space on its ass, because damn it feels good to be a gangsta.

2. Learn what all the fuss is about Girl Scout cookies, ie: what the hell are thin mints?

3. Learn all the lyrics to Rapper's Delight (I said a hip hop the hippie the hippie to the hip hip hop, a you don't stop the rock it to the bang bang boogie say up jumped the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat...) and then slither around on a karaoke stage in a skanky sequined top, just because.

4. Burn all my journals, and my ....

5. Camp underneath the stars, contemplating life's greatest questions, such as who will pick Squash's bellybutton lint when I am gone.

6. Shave my head and get a cool tattoo on my scalp. Let my mother scream at me about it.

7. Have a slumber party for all my girl friends. Watch Disney movies, dance to the Dirty Dancing soundtrack, pay each other sincere compliments, drink ourselves silly on cosmopolitans and daiquiris.

8. Rent the use of a big well-stocked kitchen for 1 full day. Do my favorite things: chop veggies, play with phyllo pastry, make cheesecake, and freeze enough casseroles. Drink lots of good wine and .....

9. Finish my story, for peace of mind. Seal it in an envelope, and mail it to a fake address.

10. Plant a tree. Spit in the dirt where it grows to leave something of myself behind.

11. Write strongly worded letter to the Bank Loan people to the tune of "Haha you ****ers, just try to get a penny out of me now that I'm dead!"

12. Spend one night dancing in a club, by myself, to say thank you to my body for its usefulness. Request 'It's Not Right, But It's Okay' and dance on speakers for old times' sake.

13. Return to the beach where I grew up all my life and enjoy the sunset with my toes in the ocean; and tell him that even the bad times were good, that I've loved loving him, and that I'll visit him in hell if I get the chance.

14. Hug everyone I've cared for, goose a few when they're all weepy and touched.

15. Cut the electricity and read aloud to him by candlelight. - E. B. White's Stuart Little and Charlotte's Web.

Hope to be remembered that way :).



P.S. I am sure Haritha and Deepthi have smiliar list or may be exactly the same :D

“Maybe mistakes are what make our fate... without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we had never veered off course we wouldn't fall in love, have babies, or be who we are. After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart... and if you're very lucky, a plane ride away”.

When you smile, I smile with you,
When you cry, I feel it too,
You are my soul, my heart coming out to you,

Be my eyes when I can’t see,
Be my voice when I can’t speak,
Be my life when darkness creeps on me,

Hoo, sajna sajna sajna re,
Hai just sajna sajna sajna re
Sajna sajna sajna re
Hai just sajna sajna sajna re

Throw the stars that shine so bright,
Cross the sky and cross the night,
Making ways to be right by your side

Hold me close don’t let me go
Hold me tight don’t you say no
Save the love we have for ever more

Ho, sajna sajna sajna re,
Hai just sajna sajna sajna re
Sajna sajna sajna re
Hai just sajna sajna sajna re

Save me, when my dream catches fire
Spare me, in my only desire
Wake me, when the pain is over
Take me, now (Take me, now) ...2

When you smile, I smile with you,
When you cry, I feel it too,
You are my soul, my heart coming out to you,

Be my eyes when I can't see,
Be my voice when I can't speak,
Be my life when darkness creeps on me,

Through the stars that shine so bright,
Cross the sky and cross the night,
Making ways to be right by your side

Hold me close don’t let me go
Hold me tight don’t you say no
Save the love we have for ever more...

Little Round Mirrors







All alone
On the floor
Next to your twin-bed box-spring and mattress
The door
Is ajar
From afar
You can hear bands practicing
And When they dream they all
Dream of somebody like you
Somebody who takes what they make
Twice as seriously as they could ever hope to do
And when you dream
You dream of a day...
When you find something you could love half as much
As you love all your little round mirrors
See yourself reflected in one, theres a hole in the middle
You can't seem to fill
Bring them home
Watch them go
All you know is you hope they'll hurry back
And you cry
Then you lie your frail body down
Like a penny on a railroad track
And even if they stay in touch
The past stays in the past
But every time
You crash a little bit harder than the last
And every time you crash don't you
Wanna find something you could love
Half as much as you love all your little round mirrors
See yourself reflected in one
There's a hole in the middle you can't seem to fill
A shooting star is
A little piece of
Cosmic debris desperately wanting to fall to earth
It doesn't get too far
It's not a real star
It's hardly even worth footnotes in your memoir
Shoulder to shoulder
Up on our tip-toes
Chewing our fingers
And craning our necks
Just to see
Quite the collection
Divide by section
It's just a surrogate connection leaving you all alone
On the floor next to your twin-bed box-spring and mattress
The door
Still ajar
There you are and now you're coming to stay until
You can find someone who will love you as much
As you love all your little round mirrors
Murdering your time in cold blood
There's a whole in the middle you can't seem to fill

Aug 26th -

I am unsuspecting in my car when the radio serves me up a little piece of nostalgia:

Iris, by the Goo Goo Dolls.

I had just turned 15 the summer it first played on the air but i remember listening to it for the first during high school years. Close to a decade and I can still taste 2000 like it was yesterday.
I was in the middle of my first love. It was glorious and it was heady and it felt so ****ing important, like this was it. ( But of course time,things and people definitely change ...).
I remember talking on the phone for hours and sleeping until 1pm and stalking MTV to catch my favorite videos specially this song and those posters on my wall.I remember leaving home and moving to my grandparents basement and the dread of changing schools, leaving my friends, missing out.I remember the stolen kisses and the not knowing and the secrets, some shared, others kept.I still remember those tears and fears and learning what it means to be strong.

And I remember always, always turning the volume up when this song came on the tv,
and now for once really understanding what they were singing about.

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

Murphy's Law

If life is governed by laws then mine for sure goes only with Murphy's Law ...

So some variations for the Murphy's Law :

Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged tone.

Celibacy is not hereditory.

When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

A short cut is the longest distance between two points.

Anything good in life is either 'illegal', 'immoral' or 'fattening'.

The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of the oncoming train.

Friends come and go, but enemies will accumulate.

Beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes to the bone.

Never argue with a fool people might not know the difference. ( I strictly follow this one )

Anything you try to fix will always take longer and cost more than you have thought.

In order to get a loan, you must first prove that you don't need it.

The chance of the slice of bread falling butter side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will . ( Now this is called the Law of Result happens to me almost everyday )

People with seats farthest from the aisle arrive last. ( Law of Theater)

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone with who you don't want to be seen.

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Murphy's Golden Rule : "Whoever has the gold makes the rules".

Murphy was an optimist

Life is a Beach ...

I learned how to swim by the unrecommended method of throwing a kid into a pool and seeing what happens.

Here's what happened:

My first “swimming” lesson was when I was 5 and consisted not so much of swimming but of the “superman” maneuver. It was practiced at local club , where us kids were encouraged to push off from the sides and “glide” with arms outstretched until momentum prevented us from going any further. .

For some reason, I remember pool shopping only because I was to fascinated with the colorful plastic tubes and surf boards. My swimming classes were usually on the weekends and my father always made sure he was there in the pool with me since the pool had no access point or ladder, he could stand at the side and lift me over the edge.

Not yet being a swimmer, my mother blew up an inner tube for me, and tossed it in the pool. Then my father swung me over and tossed me at the tube. His aim was good, but remember that I was small, and I passed neatly through the donut hole and was quickly sinking towards the bottom.

My mother was around to see what promised to be the first jubilant splash, looked on, horrified, as the little me seemed to drown before her eyes. And, there being no ladder yet installed, and me being out of arm's length, there was no way to reach me. So she just stood there and watched.

I flailed my limbs but they just sliced through the non-resistance of the water. My little round body went down, down, down, and though too young to understand the mechanism of breathing, I felt the burning of water in my lungs, which seemed to scream up! up! Up! Somehow I managed to reverse my sinking body and I broke the surface of the water, spluttering and coughing. When I had sufficient breath, I yelled to my mom “Did you see me? I swam! I swam!” and she muttered her praise while looking at my father guiltily out of the corners of her eyes. I should have been a little pink blob on the bottom of the pool but instead I was clinging to the siding screaming at others to join me in my newfound splashy freedom. A smarter kid might have clutched to the inflated tube, but once I had defied death that first time, I wanted to go deeper, faster, longer.

Many years later, many swimming lessons later, I consider myself to be a strong swimmer, which is a good thing because this time I have been tossed into the metaphorical deep end, and once again, the flotation device is just out of reach.

Life throws you into these sink-or-swim situations and it's amazing how powerful our sense of preservation is. We paddle on, no matter how many waves crash over our heads, no matter how many stitches we have in our sides or how tired we get. But what happens when you are thrown into the dark and forbidding water not alone, but with a weaker swimmer?

These are the moments in life that are infinitely hard: the days when we've just been treading water; the days when we've been slipping under; the days when we can barely keep our heads above the water line. I don't want to drown while trying to save someone else, some days I don't even know that I can save myself, and yet I can't not try, I can't. So I'm trying not to drown, not to let either of us drown, but it's hard. It's hard enough to fight the current on your own, but with the extra burden, progress is slow, and sometimes the undertow is stronger than I, and I feel us both being pulled back out toward the uninviting expanse and I think how nice it would be to relax my muscles, take a few deep gulps of water and let swirling water suck me under. But other days I see the shore, or I think I see it, on the horizon, if I squint real hard and ignore the burning sun. I stroke through the water like crazy, hoping to feel the sand between my toes before long, and I tell myself to just keep swimming.

I am trying hard not to drown. Oh yes, life's a beach.

Words Of Wisdom ...


Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

Drive carefully. It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.

If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a watergun and shoot other people in the eyes.

If you’re not part of the solution, be part of the problem!

If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

If you can’t beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Never buy a car you can’t push.

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don’t have a leg to stand on.

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

You are what you eat. So stay away from the jerk chicken.

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

Grievances ...


I don't like straightening my hair only to find out that the heat index has other ideas.

I don't like when I have shampoo in my eyes.

I don't like the sky without the stars.

I don't like schedules and people who complain about my lack of punctuality.

I don't like people when they miss spell Zyr. ( Its pronounced as Zeer guys )

I don't like trench coats.

I don't like too sappy movies.

I don't like quite arugments.

I don't like people who doze off while talking to me over the phone. ( the only exception for this is ME )

I don't like getting up early morning.

I don't like washing my jeans regular.

I don't like people with blasting music from their handphone.

I don't like prematurely resurrecting winter sweaters because work is glacially over-air-conditioned.

I don't like people who just live on gossip.

I don't like tofu.

and yeah true this is a never ending list.

So you see I don't like not having anything to complain about (after all, it is part of my charm :D.) However, I find myself listing only the trivial complaints, and I'm awfully smiley despite it. So here I am the self proclaimed QUEEN of grumpy land.

...

Sometimes, when I rent a car, and pay for the insurance, I feel obligated to smash into things just so I get my money's worth.

Confessions : A Miracle Remedy

I am always pulled or rather forced to believe towards the saying " You can run but you can never hide " I mean yeah its so true at one point or the other we get caught if not by somebody at least by yourself. Funny right you getting caught by your own self yeah how long can you keep running from yourself.Honestly there are a bunch of different topics right in my pocket like love, my therapy my best friend, my weekend date, my love towards vodka, missing Brady boy, Boston Boston and Boston etc etc and keeping all these things aside I think of confessions that too in the peek hours of work. May be this why I am always refereed as the eccentric one.

Every event in life rather anything anywhere always has a beginning. A beginning which we would love to remember or a beginning which we always to want forget or rather keep running away from but fortunately or unfortunately few of the beginnings never end or may be we don't want them to just like mother love, the noise of the raindrops, the last sip of your coffee, warm wind, black and white films, the warmth you get every time you hug your loved ones, your secret crush list, love towards sampras more than tennis, the smile you get every time you do the naughty nothings etc etc...

As told earlier everything has a start and my start towards this post started with a phone call. Yeah a phone call from a budding friend :D clearly from a friend's friend. He was really worried for something he has done and I don't really blame him for that I mean as long you have a strong love towards your ego more than yourself things like these keep popping up and yeah an end for this" a small confession sets you free". Funny but so true coz after telling me what he has done he concluded just by saying now that I have told you everything I am all relaxed and fine. So here comes our miracle remedy called Confession for anything or everything.Works perfectly on almost every soul.

Remember the time when you were a kid still learning how to walk and how badly you want to walk without your mommy's help trying get on your feet but the time you take your first step all you know is you are flat on the floor crying for help and then starts your may be first confession with that innocent look on your face which I am sure is still your mother's favorite " Mommy I am sorry I will make sure from now on that I will take your support". and this is exactly where our never ending mistakes oooppppps our never ending list of confessions start.

Every time you see your crush/first love during high school all you do is confess to your heart by saying I will tell him tomorrow and you go on all your high school years without telling him but confessing to your heart that is there always a tomorrow and here starts your first heartbreaking confession and years later finally when you see him again but this time with your ex high school best friend your confess again to yourself by saying " (&*(&% How I wish I told him then anyways lucky (^$^&* " but still your confession remains close your heart and stay with you till the end of time and this just of the beginning of what you call the heart breaking confessions and my remedy for these heartaches is simple they are either a date with my fav vodka or a long drive, a walk on the beach and even if these aren't helping a long conversion with my mom over a cup of coffeee always does wonders for me.

I think in these 24 years of my life I have confessed may be ten naaaaaa hundred times more than what a sane man does in his normal life. I confess everyday from the time I get up to the time I sleep. My morning confessions starts with naveen or my mom apologising for not picking their calls the previous night coz I was really busy doing what snoring to glory :D trust me my sleep is very precious to me. All I do is tell them I love them so much that I would never do this again but the sinner in me makes me do it again and again no matter what making this morning confession of mine a mandatory one.

My friends find these really funny specially my mom coz every time my ice cream melts I confess to it that I would never make it melt again or whenever I go for a haircut I confess to it that I will definitely grow it again. Whenever I have shampoo in my eyes I confess that I will do it again trust me I really hate to have shampoo in my eyes.Every time I throw the empty Zyr bottle I confess to it by saying I will definitely get your twin or refill you soon.Every time I have tears in my eyes I confess to my eyes that I will cry again. Each time Chelsea looses to Manchester all I confess " Thank you god this is what I want not the MU winning but seeing Chelsea loose is real fun. Please make sure they loose over and over &^%$@!* they are so born to loose." I love to pull squash's tail and make him run and run and run and finally when he is all tired I confess to him saying I will never do this again but again the sinner in me wakes up and god save my poor squash. My everyday confessions are an endless list. But my day end confession tops my list all I do is sit and pray to God saying " Dear God I am a sinner I know even you are tired of my confessions by now but still this is what I done .... Please forgive me and at least give me a place in hell."

We all believe that few things remain close to us I mean we carry them along no matter where we go like love, laughter,tears etc confessions for sure fall in to one such category they are always with us whether we want them or not. and yeah just like how I don't know how my indefinite process towards solving love has started CONFESSIONS are also one such thing were we never know when they start or when they are going to end.

So finally " We can run but we can never hide" ....