The Devoted Friend

by Oscar Wilde
(1854-1900)

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One morning the old Water-rat put his head out of his hole. He had bright beady eyes and stiff grey whiskers and his tail was like a long bit of black india-rubber. The little ducks were swimming about in the pond, looking just like a lot of yellow canaries, and their mother, who was pure white with real red legs, was trying to teach them how to stand on their heads in the water.

"You will never be in the best society unless you can stand on your heads," she kept saying to them; and every now and then she showed them how it was done. But the little ducks paid no attention to her. They were so young that they did not know what an advantage it is to be in society at all.

"What disobedient children!" cried the old Water-rat; "they really deserve to be drowned."

"Nothing of the kind," answered the Duck, "every one must make a beginning, and parents cannot be too patient."

"Ah! I know nothing about the feelings of parents," said the Water- rat; "I am not a family man. In fact, I have never been married, and I never intend to be. Love is all very well in its way, but friendship is much higher. Indeed, I know of nothing in the world that is either nobler or rarer than a devoted friendship."

"And what, pray, is your idea of the duties of a devoted friend?" asked a Green Linnet, who was sitting in a willow-tree hard by, and had overheard the conversation.

"Yes, that is just what I want to know," said the Duck; and she swam away to the end of the pond, and stood upon her head, in order to give her children a good example.

"What a silly question!" cried the Water-rat. "I should expect my devoted friend to be devoted to me, of course."

"And what would you do in return?" said the little bird, swinging upon a silver spray, and flapping his tiny wings.

"I don't understand you," answered the Water-rat.

"Let me tell you a story on the subject," said the Linnet.

"Is the story about me?" asked the Water-rat. "If so, I will listen to it, for I am extremely fond of fiction."

"It is applicable to you," answered the Linnet; and he flew down, and alighting upon the bank, he told the story of The Devoted Friend.

"Once upon a time," said the Linnet, "there was an honest little fellow named Hans."

"Was he very distinguished?" asked the Water-rat.

"No," answered the Linnet, "I don't think he was distinguished at all, except for his kind heart, and his funny round good-humoured face. He lived in a tiny cottage all by himself, and every day he worked in his garden. In all the country-side there was no garden so lovely as his. Sweet-william grew there, and Gilly-flowers, and Shepherds'-purses, and Fair-maids of France. There were damask Roses, and yellow Roses, lilac Crocuses, and gold, purple Violets and white. Columbine and Ladysmock, Marjoram and Wild Basil, the Cowslip and the Flower-de-luce, the Daffodil and the Clove-Pink bloomed or blossomed in their proper order as the months went by, one flower taking another flower's place, so that there were always beautiful things to look at, and pleasant odours to smell.

"Little Hans had a great many friends, but the most devoted friend of all was big Hugh the Miller. Indeed, so devoted was the rich Miller to little Hans, that be would never go by his garden without leaning over the wall and plucking a large nosegay, or a handful of sweet herbs, or filling his pockets with plums and cherries if it was the fruit season.

"'Real friends should have everything in common,' the Miller used to say, and little Hans nodded and smiled, and felt very proud of having a friend with such noble ideas.

"Sometimes, indeed, the neighbours thought it strange that the rich Miller never gave little Hans anything in return, though he had a hundred sacks of flour stored away in his mill, and six milch cows, and a large flock of woolly sheep; but Hans never troubled his head about these things, and nothing gave him greater pleasure than to listen to all the wonderful things the Miller used to say about the unselfishness of true friendship.

"So little Hans worked away in his garden. During the spring, the summer, and the autumn he was very happy, but when the winter came, and he had no fruit or flowers to bring to the market, he suffered a good deal from cold and hunger, and often had to go to bed without any supper but a few dried pears or some hard nuts. In the winter, also, he was extremely lonely, as the Miller never came to see him then.

"'There is no good in my going to see little Hans as long as the snow lasts,' the Miller used to say to his wife, 'for when people are in trouble they should be left alone, and not be bothered by visitors. That at least is my idea about friendship, and I am sure I am right. So I shall wait till the spring comes, and then I shall pay him a visit, and he will be able to give me a large basket of primroses and that will make him so happy.'

"'You are certainly very thoughtful about others,' answered the Wife, as she sat in her comfortable armchair by the big pinewood fire; 'very thoughtful indeed. It is quite a treat to hear you talk about friendship. I am sure the clergyman himself could not say such beautiful things as you do, though he does live in a three-storied house, and wear a gold ring on his little finger.'

"'But could we not ask little Hans up here?' said the Miller's youngest son. 'If poor Hans is in trouble I will give him half my porridge, and show him my white rabbits.'

"'What a silly boy you are'! cried the Miller; 'I really don't know what is the use of sending you to school. You seem not to learn anything. Why, if little Hans came up here, and saw our warm fire, and our good supper, and our great cask of red wine, he might get envious, and envy is a most terrible thing, and would spoil anybody's nature. I certainly will not allow Hans' nature to be spoiled. I am his best friend, and I will always watch over him, and see that he is not led into any temptations. Besides, if Hans came here, he might ask me to let him have some flour on credit, and that I could not do. Flour is one thing, and friendship is another, and they should not be confused. Why, the words are spelt differently, and mean quite different things. Everybody can see that.'

"'How well you talk'! said the Miller's Wife, pouring herself out a large glass of warm ale; 'really I feel quite drowsy. It is just like being in church.'

"'Lots of people act well,' answered the Miller; 'but very few people talk well, which shows that talking is much the more difficult thing of the two, and much the finer thing also'; and he looked sternly across the table at his little son, who felt so ashamed of himself that he hung his head down, and grew quite scarlet, and began to cry into his tea. However, he was so young that you must excuse him."

"Is that the end of the story?" asked the Water-rat.

"Certainly not," answered the Linnet, "that is the beginning."

"Then you are quite behind the age," said the Water-rat. "Every good story-teller nowadays starts with the end, and then goes on to the beginning, and concludes with the middle. That is the new method. I heard all about it the other day from a critic who was walking round the pond with a young man. He spoke of the matter at great length, and I am sure he must have been right, for he had blue spectacles and a bald head, and whenever the young man made any remark, he always answered 'Pooh!' But pray go on with your story. I like the Miller immensely. I have all kinds of beautiful sentiments myself, so there is a great sympathy between us."

"Well," said the Linnet, hopping now on one leg and now on the other, "as soon as the winter was over, and the primroses began to open their pale yellow stars, the Miller said to his wife that he would go down and see little Hans.

"'Why, what a good heart you have'! cried his Wife; 'you are always thinking of others. And mind you take the big basket with you for the flowers.'

"So the Miller tied the sails of the windmill together with a strong iron chain, and went down the hill with the basket on his arm.

"'Good morning, little Hans,' said the Miller.

"'Good morning,' said Hans, leaning on his spade, and smiling from ear to ear.

"'And how have you been all the winter?' said the Miller.

"'Well, really,' cried Hans, 'it is very good of you to ask, very good indeed. I am afraid I had rather a hard time of it, but now the spring has come, and I am quite happy, and all my flowers are doing well.'

"'We often talked of you during the winter, Hans,' said the Miller, 'and wondered how you were getting on.'

"'That was kind of you,' said Hans; 'I was half afraid you had forgotten me.'

"'Hans, I am surprised at you,' said the Miller; 'friendship never forgets. That is the wonderful thing about it, but I am afraid you don't understand the poetry of life. How lovely your primroses are looking, by-the-bye"!

"'They are certainly very lovely,' said Hans, 'and it is a most lucky thing for me that I have so many. I am going to bring them into the market and sell them to the Burgomaster's daughter, and buy back my wheelbarrow with the money.'

"'Buy back your wheelbarrow? You don't mean to say you have sold it? What a very stupid thing to do'!

"'Well, the fact is,' said Hans, 'that I was obliged to. You see the winter was a very bad time for me, and I really had no money at all to buy bread with. So I first sold the silver buttons off my Sunday coat, and then I sold my silver chain, and then I sold my big pipe, and at last I sold my wheelbarrow. But I am going to buy them all back again now.'

"'Hans,' said the Miller, 'I will give you my wheelbarrow. It is not in very good repair; indeed, one side is gone, and there is something wrong with the wheel-spokes; but in spite of that I will give it to you. I know it is very generous of me, and a great many people would think me extremely foolish for parting with it, but I am not like the rest of the world. I think that generosity is the essence of friendship, and, besides, I have got a new wheelbarrow for myself. Yes, you may set your mind at ease, I will give you my wheelbarrow.'

"'Well, really, that is generous of you,' said little Hans, and his funny round face glowed all over with pleasure. 'I can easily put it in repair, as I have a plank of wood in the house.'

"'A plank of wood'! said the Miller; 'why, that is just what I want for the roof of my barn. There is a very large hole in it, and the corn will all get damp if I don't stop it up. How lucky you mentioned it! It is quite remarkable how one good action always breeds another. I have given you my wheelbarrow, and now you are going to give me your plank. Of course, the wheelbarrow is worth far more than the plank, but true, friendship never notices things like that. Pray get it at once, and I will set to work at my barn this very day.'

"'Certainly,' cried little Hans, and he ran into the shed and dragged the plank out.

"'It is not a very big plank,' said the Miller, looking at it, 'and I am afraid that after I have mended my barn-roof there won't be any left for you to mend the wheelbarrow with; but, of course, that is not my fault. And now, as I have given you my wheelbarrow, I am sure you would like to give me some flowers in return. Here is the basket, and mind you fill it quite full.'

"'Quite full?' said little Hans, rather sorrowfully, for it was really a very big basket, and he knew that if he filled it he would have no flowers left for the market and he was very anxious to get his silver buttons back.

"'Well, really,' answered the Miller, 'as I have given you my wheelbarrow, I don't think that it is much to ask you for a few flowers. I may be wrong, but I should have thought that friendship, true friendship, was quite free from selfishness of any kind.'

"'My dear friend, my best friend,' cried little Hans, 'you are welcome to all the flowers in my garden. I would much sooner have your good opinion than my silver buttons, any day'; and he ran and plucked all his pretty primroses, and filled the Miller's basket.

"'Good-bye, little Hans,' said the Miller, as he went up the hill with the plank on his shoulder, and the big basket in his hand.

"'Good-bye,' said little Hans, and he began to dig away quite merrily, he was so pleased about the wheelbarrow.

"The next day he was nailing up some honeysuckle against the porch, when he heard the Miller's voice calling to him from the road. So he jumped off the ladder, and ran down the garden, and looked over the wall.

"There was the Miller with a large sack of flour on his back.

"'Dear little Hans,' said the Miller, 'would you mind carrying this sack of flour for me to market?'

"'Oh, I am so sorry,' said Hans, 'but I am really very busy to-day. I have got all my creepers to nail up, and all my flowers to water, and all my grass to roll.'

"'Well, really,' said the Miller, 'I think that, considering that I am going to give you my wheelbarrow, it is rather unfriendly of you to refuse.'

"'Oh, don't say that,' cried little Hans, 'I wouldn't be unfriendly for the whole world'; and he ran in for his cap, and trudged off with the big sack on his shoulders.

"It was a very hot day, and the road was terribly dusty, and before Hans had reached the sixth milestone he was so tired that he had to sit down and rest. However, he went on bravely, and as last he reached the market. After he had waited there some time, he sold the sack of flour for a very good price, and then he returned home at once, for he was afraid that if he stopped too late he might meet some robbers on the way.

"'It has certainly been a hard day,' said little Hans to himself as he was going to bed, 'but I am glad I did not refuse the Miller, for he is my best friend, and, besides, he is going to give me his wheelbarrow.'

"Early the next morning the Miller came down to get the money for his sack of flour, but little Hans was so tired that he was still in bed.

"'Upon my word,' said the Miller, 'you are very lazy. Really, considering that I am going to give you my wheelbarrow, I think you might work harder. Idleness is a great sin, and I certainly don't like any of my friends to be idle or sluggish. You must not mind my speaking quite plainly to you. Of course I should not dream of doing so if I were not your friend. But what is the good of friendship if one cannot say exactly what one means? Anybody can say charming things and try to please and to flatter, but a true friend always says unpleasant things, and does not mind giving pain. Indeed, if he is a really true friend he prefers it, for he knows that then he is doing good.'

"'I am very sorry,' said little Hans, rubbing his eyes and pulling off his night-cap, 'but I was so tired that I thought I would lie in bed for a little time, and listen to the birds singing. Do you know that I always work better after hearing the birds sing?'

"'Well, I am glad of that,' said the Miller, clapping little Hans on the back, 'for I want you to come up to the mill as soon as you are dressed, and mend my barn-roof for me.'

"Poor little Hans was very anxious to go and work in his garden, for his flowers had not been watered for two days, but he did not like to refuse the Miller, as he was such a good friend to him.

"'Do you think it would be unfriendly of me if I said I was busy?' he inquired in a shy and timid voice.

"'Well, really,' answered the Miller, 'I do not think it is much to ask of you, considering that I am going to give you my wheelbarrow; but of course if you refuse I will go and do it myself.'

"'Oh! on no account,' cried little Hans and he jumped out of bed, and dressed himself, and went up to the barn.

"He worked there all day long, till sunset, and at sunset the Miller came to see how he was getting on.

"'Have you mended the hole in the roof yet, little Hans?' cried the Miller in a cheery voice.

"'It is quite mended,' answered little Hans, coming down the ladder.

"'Ah'! said the Miller, 'there is no work so delightful as the work one does for others.'

"'It is certainly a great privilege to hear you talk,' answered little Hans, sitting down, and wiping his forehead, 'a very great privilege. But I am afraid I shall never have such beautiful ideas as you have.'

"'Oh! they will come to you,' said the Miller, 'but you must take more pains. At present you have only the practice of friendship; some day you will have the theory also.'

"'Do you really think I shall?' asked little Hans.

"'I have no doubt of it,' answered the Miller, 'but now that you have mended the roof, you had better go home and rest, for I want you to drive my sheep to the mountain to-morrow.'

"Poor little Hans was afraid to say anything to this, and early the next morning the Miller brought his sheep round to the cottage, and Hans started off with them to the mountain. It took him the whole day to get there and back; and when he returned he was so tired that he went off to sleep in his chair, and did not wake up till it was broad daylight.

"'What a delightful time I shall have in my garden,' he said, and he went to work at once.

"But somehow he was never able to look after his flowers at all, for his friend the Miller was always coming round and sending him off on long errands, or getting him to help at the mill. Little Hans was very much distressed at times, as he was afraid his flowers would think he had forgotten them, but he consoled himself by the reflection that the Miller was his best friend. 'Besides,' he used to say, 'he is going to give me his wheelbarrow, and that is an act of pure generosity.'

"So little Hans worked away for the Miller, and the Miller said all kinds of beautiful things about friendship, which Hans took down in a note-book, and used to read over at night, for he was a very good scholar.

"Now it happened that one evening little Hans was sitting by his fireside when a loud rap came at the door. It was a very wild night, and the wind was blowing and roaring round the house so terribly that at first he thought it was merely the storm. But a second rap came, and then a third, louder than any of the others.

"'It is some poor traveller,' said little Hans to himself, and he ran to the door.

"There stood the Miller with a lantern in one hand and a big stick in the other.

"'Dear little Hans,' cried the Miller, 'I am in great trouble. My little boy has fallen off a ladder and hurt himself, and I am going for the Doctor. But he lives so far away, and it is such a bad night, that it has just occurred to me that it would be much better if you went instead of me. You know I am going to give you my wheelbarrow, and so, it is only fair that you should do something for me in return.'

"'Certainly,' cried little Hans, 'I take it quite as a compliment your coming to me, and I will start off at once. But you must lend me your lantern, as the night is so dark that I am afraid I might fall into the ditch.'

"'I am very sorry,' answered the Miller, 'but it is my new lantern, and it would be a great loss to me if anything happened to it.'

"'Well, never mind, I will do without it,' cried little Hans, and he took down his great fur coat, and his warm scarlet cap, and tied a muffler round his throat, and started off.

"What a dreadful storm it was! The night was so black that little Hans could hardly see, and the wind was so strong that he could scarcely stand. However, he was very courageous, and after he had been walking about three hours, he arrived at the Doctor's house, and knocked at the door.

"'Who is there?' cried the Doctor, putting his head out of his bedroom window.

"'Little Hans, Doctor.'

"'What do you want, little Hans?'

"'The Miller's son has fallen from a ladder, and has hurt himself, and the Miller wants you to come at once.'

"'All right!' said the Doctor; and he ordered his horse, and his big boots, and his lantern, and came downstairs, and rode off in the direction of the Miller's house, little Hans trudging behind him.

"But the storm grew worse and worse, and the rain fell in torrents, and little Hans could not see where he was going, or keep up with the horse. At last he lost his way, and wandered off on the moor, which was a very dangerous place, as it was full of deep holes, and there poor little Hans was drowned. His body was found the next day by some goatherds, floating in a great pool of water, and was brought back by them to the cottage.

"Everybody went to little Hans' funeral, as he was so popular, and the Miller was the chief mourner.

"'As I was his best friend,' said the Miller, 'it is only fair that I should have the best place'; so he walked at the head of the procession in a long black cloak, and every now and then he wiped his eyes with a big pocket-handkerchief.

"'Little Hans is certainly a great loss to every one,' said the Blacksmith, when the funeral was over, and they were all seated comfortably in the inn, drinking spiced wine and eating sweet cakes.

"'A great loss to me at any rate,' answered the Miller; 'why, I had as good as given him my wheelbarrow, and now I really don't know what to do with it. It is very much in my way at home, and it is in such bad repair that I could not get anything for it if I sold it. I will certainly take care not to give away anything again. One always suffers for being generous.'"

"Well?" said the Water-rat, after a long pause.

"Well, that is the end," said the Linnet.

"But what became of the Miller?" asked the Water-rat.

"Oh! I really don't know," replied the Linnet; "and I am sure that I don't care."

"It is quite evident then that you have no sympathy in your nature," said the Water-rat.

"I am afraid you don't quite see the moral of the story," remarked the Linnet.

"The what?" screamed the Water-rat.

"The moral."

"Do you mean to say that the story has a moral?"

"Certainly," said the Linnet.

"Well, really," said the Water-rat, in a very angry manner, "I think you should have told me that before you began. If you had done so, I certainly would not have listened to you; in fact, I should have said 'Pooh,' like the critic. However, I can say it now"; so he shouted out "Pooh" at the top of his voice, gave a whisk with his tail, and went back into his hole.

"And how do you like the Water-rat?" asked the Duck, who came paddling up some minutes afterwards. "He has a great many good points, but for my own part I have a mother's feelings, and I can never look at a confirmed bachelor without the tears coming into my eyes."

"I am rather afraid that I have annoyed him," answered the Linnet. "The fact is, that I told him a story with a moral."

"Ah! that is always a very dangerous thing to do," said the Duck.

And I quite agree with her.

Lost & Found - Short Story

A little girl lost her favorite toy. The only toy she carried wherever she went. And by the time she could find it.Somebody else claimed for it. Lucky Somebody.

Silence and Love ...

Chapter 1


Finally Sarah settled in London and was very happy with her new school and friends. Just like her father Contemporary Art was something in which she was really interested in and always wanted to purse her Masters. I felt very happy and proud of her when she got admission from one of the most prestigious Art Schools in London. After Sarah left, I am getting back to the loneliness which I never wanted to experience again. All I could learn from her frequent emails and phone calls is that she has plans of settling down in London. In spite of Sarah’s constant assurance that she would definitely stay in touch and her everyday phone calls still I am finding it difficult to beat this feeling which already took over me.

It’s just another winter in Seattle and for a change this time I am going to spend it with my new partner none other than my loneliness. I decided to move to a single bedroom condo which would be more than sufficient. I am finding the house too big just for me and it was a decision taken during the summer when Sarah’s admission got confirmed. Even she felt that it would be difficult for me to manage both the house and my job at the library. I decided to move in to the new flat by the end of next week and also I decided on quitting my job or planning to shift to a part time 3 days a week. Painful to realize that just like my daughter even the library doesn’t need my help anymore.

With the help of Amy, my one and only friend from the college only with whom I prefer staying in touch, I moved the things to the new condo. Most of Sarah things were posted to her and a lot of unwanted clothes and furniture were given to the local charity. Amy was a lot more worried than what I was feeling for myself. But she felt better when I promised her that I would call her everyday. We ordered Chinese that night and Amy left after an early dinner reminding me of my everyday phone call and promised to return the next weekend.

The new condo was on the sixth floor with a balcony and a beautiful view of the Lake Washington. Sarah would definitely love the place especially for the view. At last the first snow began drifting me back to the old memories which were the only things I could ever carry with me.


Chapter 2


All I could hear was my mother shouting Maya don’t go towards the waves wait until daddy comes but still I was running towards the water ignoring my mother’s scream’s then suddenly two strong arms lifted me and got hold of me tight. The arms that I would love to stay in and the only arms which can protect me. It was my daddy the most handsome man I have seen till date and he still remains as the first man I ever fell in love with. Playing with daddy was always fun. He carried me into to the water showing me the waves and trying to teach me colors. The first color he ever taught me was the color blue. Taking the sea water in his hands and teaching me “what’s the color of the sea my princess? Say Blueeeeee” and from then onwards blue became my favorite color and till date it still remains my favorite.

It was my birthday and I would be turning eight that year. Daddy for me a bunch of surprises the man who only wants me to smile and smile and smile. I used to love the picture frame titled Daddy’s Little Princess which had a picture of him holding me when I was just days old. Never remember him calling me by my name it was always princess, my darling, honey etc. Even this birthday daddy had a surprise for me. He planned an entire week at the Disney World. I jumped into his arms when he told me I would celebrate my birthday not at home but at the Disney World. I told him we wouldn’t celebrate it just for my birthday but will celebrate for the Best Daddy Ever. He felt so happy and was at same time very proud of me.

The week at the Disney’s was the best. Daddy carrying me on his shoulders making sure that I saw everything and taking photographs of me everywhere and sitting right next to me in every ride. In spite of mummy’s constant assurance that she will take care of me asking him to take rest he insisted that he would be with me. That was the first time I read the “The Three Musketeers” book and found the name perfect for my family. From then on we became the “Happy Three Musketeers”.


Chapter 3


It was the year I the entered my junior high school. As always mummy used to take care of my homework and studies and the major part which was fun was always with daddy. Being with daddy was always the best time for me, I used to talk everything to him about school, my friends and my secret crushes everything and as always he was there for me listening to me and teasing me on my crush list. He never missed a single parent teacher meeting and telling them how he is always proud of me. He always used to ask what I want to become when I grow up and what I want study and where? Always kept assuring me that "no matter what happens I would always remain as daddy’s little princess".

I successfully completed my junior high school and was waiting for the holidays to get over so that I can start with my first high school experience ever. I was all excited for staying four weeks at home with mummy and daddy. I am sure that daddy has definitely planned something for the vacation. The day which I never even dreamt was right in front of me. Mummy and Daddy fighting in front of me and mummy crying badly and then to a corner I saw a packed suitcase. I didn’t say anything went back to my room and started crying and for the reason I never knew. I thought daddy is leaving on an immediate office work and she didn’t like the idea of him leaving during my vacation. Later I was called for dinner by mummy was told then that "Daddy is leaving and he is leaving us for good. He wouldn’t be coming back to live with us".

I ran back into my room and locked myself and started crying. Now crying for a reason and reason is me. I thought I have done something very bad that daddy got hurt and he is punishing me by leaving me. He never came up to say good bye at least for the last time. I cried the whole night not bothering to come down and see what was happening with my mother. I remember coming down the next afternoon and mummy was still in her room crying. I went to back to my room and slept only hoping that all this is a bad dream and finally when I get up I will see daddy and mummy again together.


Weeks passed by and there was no news from daddy. My father teaching me a new lesson. "A lesson of disappearance. A lesson where nothing can be taken for granted and where people go and never come back". I blamed my mother for a while but gradually realized that it was never her fault and it was daddy who wanted to leave. I slowly started accepting my new life which only had me and mummy. From now it was mummy who started dropping me to school and picking me up. It was only she who was present for my parent teacher meetings or for my birthdays. It was painful to see only mummy sitting alone without daddy everywhere we went. Finally we accepted the fact and moved on. I decided to myself that I would never let man come close to me and do the same thing what daddy has done to us. Leaving us behind never cared to reply to our calls. Mummy wrote him many times asking him to call if not for her at least for my sake but still the silence remained.

Four painful years passed by. I wrote a lot of letters to daddy but never posted any. I saved them all in my secret box where mummy cannot find them. These years taught me a lot. So many things and feelings which I preferred to keep to me rather than sharing with anyone. I started living in silence just like how my daddy was living now. It was always my silence which spoke and thankfully mummy always understood.

Finally it was my graduation time and mummy was very happy that I would be going to college now and she was very proud of that. I decided to write to my father now for the last time. Inviting him for my graduation, to see his daughter whom he was always proud of graduate. The graduation day arrived and now as always there was no daddy present or there was a reply for the first and the last letter I ever posted to him.

Mummy could feel the disappointment in my face but even she knew that nothing could help me. That was the first time I learned that I would never see my daddy again or I should expect it. He is gone, gone way far from our lives no matter what we do he will never come back. This time there were no tears but a painful silence as always now that silence was from me leaving me a thought “Is daddy still proud of me”? My loneliness was expressed only through my silence and I started embracing it.


Chapter 4


Mummy wanted me to apply to best universities in arts but I told her that I wanted to attend a college which is close to home where I can come home every week and spend time with her. I had my own selfishness in this , I didn’t want to miss my mother too just like how I missed my father. She insisted that I deserver to study in better universities than the ones which were near by and explained me the benefits of studying in the top universities but still I never gave up on my decision and finally she agreed with mine. I told her I will be visiting her every week and I could really feel that happiness in her and all she said was she is really very proud of me.

My first day at college at freshman. Mummy came to drop me and as I was approaching the school all my emotions were mixed. I was happy that mummy was with me to drop me and at the same time thought of daddy when I saw a lot of kids with both their parents. I was early to homeroom, and as I took my seat I wondered who I might meet. There were some old and new faces. Everybody excited and happy in their own way.

I could see him waving towards to me and smiling and now walking towards us. It was Kevin my classmate from school we have always been together in many of ours classes but we never spoke much. He was my first crush back in junior high school. About whom I used to tell daddy everyday and daddy used to tease me with his name. As he approached us even my mother recognized him and as we spoke we understood that both of us again together in arts class. My mother instantly liked him and when she was leaving she was genuinely happy saying “Maya I am sure you will have fun.” But do remember that mama will miss you and love you loads. Will be waiting for the weekend. After she left I felt a little low for the first few minutes but as day went by everything was feeling great after a long time.



Chapter 5


Amy was my roommate a very calm but very friendly girl who was instantly there for me from day one. She was in the science class which was completely out of my syllabus and that’s something which I never tried to show any interest and even she left the same thing for arts. In spite of being in different classes we were still bonding well. That week when I went home I told mummy about my new friends especially about Amy but for my surprise she asked me about Kevin. I told her that there is nothing going around and we are just good friends.

Being in college was really good I was able to leave my silence behind and start talking and feeling happy once again. Kevin and me started talking, talking a lot in fact. In very short time he became very close to me. One day Kevin asked me out and it was Amy and my mother who was more excited then me.

In less than two weeks after our first date Kevin proposed and I instantly said yes. My fear of not believing in a man again was slowly being erased by Kevin. Now he was there for me just like how daddy taking care of everything in my life and listening to me and promising me he would always be there.

It was during that vacation that I met his parents. Both our parents being from the same town needed no long introductions and his parents recognized me and liked me immediately just like how my mother liked Kevin. His parents knew about my parents divorce but they never mentioned anything through out the dinner and I was really happy for that and told the same thing to Kevin and all he said was they really like you Maya now you don’t have to worry about anything. "I will always be with you ".

Finally all of us graduated and Amy decided to settle in Seattle and Kevin got a job in an art gallery in New York and I decided to go back and stay with mummy and then deicide.



Chapter 6


After the graduation Kevin and I returned back to our homes and we were with our parents enjoying the vacation. One day when I returned home from shopping I was surprised to Kevin home and before I could react he was on his knees asking me to marry him, proposing to me right in front of my mother. I couldn’t stop my tears, tears that ran out of happiness after a long and in less than a month we were married.

My mother loved and treated Kevin just like a son whom she never had. She was sure that he is the only person who can ever take care of me and keep me happy. We had to move to New York because of Kevin’s job in an art gallery there. This time my mother not worried but in fact very happy for my new life. That was my last dinner with mummy before we left to New York. I wanted to talk to her about this from a very long time but never did coz I never knew how she is going to react. But finally I thought the time has come for me to tell her or rather ask her. Later that night I told her that’s its high time she start seeing somebody else. After a long silence all my mother could tell me was that my father is the only man she ever loved and she wants to keep it only that way. She said it was impossible for her to love someone else in the same way and that was enough for me to understand that my mother decided to stay single for the rest of her life.

It was difficult for me to leave my mother coz this time I can’t promise on coming home every weekend. All I could tell her was I will call her everyday and asking her to take care.


Chapter 7


Life in New York was completely new for us. Things and people are very fast to catch up with. Kevin slowly started getting busy with work and me started getting used staying at home alone and waiting for him.

I made sure that I called mummy everyday and I was happy that even Kevin made it a point to talk to her as often as he can. We celebrated our first anniversary with both our parents at my mothers place and it was four months after that I learned I was pregnant. I immediately called up Kevin told him the news and asked him to come home and called up my mother who was equally happy. I never saw Kevin this excited until now. He asked if I would like to stay at my mothers place and I said I would prefer being with him any day. And for us the best days of our life just started.

Kevin was always there during my regular doctor visits and constantly assuring my mother that he would take care of me which he was really doing well.

Amy came to visit us the following week. She instantly agreed on being the godmother for our future child and was very happy by the way Kevin was taking care of me. Three of us decided on the names. If it was a girl we would call her Sarah or if it was a boy we would name him Michael.

Later that week my scanning was done and the result said it was a baby girl. We were all happy and waiting for baby Sarah. Amy left the next day promising to return soon and asking me to take care.

Winter had arrived and in the middle of December Sarah was born. I could see an extension of me in my hands now. The cute form of our love and our future was in our hands.


Chapter 8


After Sarah was born my mother offered to come and stay with us for a while and to help me in taking care of her. More than Kevin I felt I wanted my mother with me now. Sarah was the most beautiful thing ever happened to me she has the same nose like Kevin’s and same oval face and his high cheek bones but she’s got my black hair. I never wanted to leave her always wanted to be with her just like how my mother was always taking care of me .

Its Sarah now who is becoming her father’s little princess. Every time Kevin called princess it reminded me of my father. I wonder how he would react if he ever comes to know that I am married now and have a daughter but as always my thoughts and dreams about my father remained only as dreams which never came true.

Four months after Sarah’s birth my mother decided to go back to Ohio and I couldn’t stop her this time she felt she stayed for too long and as I learned to take care of Sarah now she decided to go. She asked me not worry and told her she would be visiting frequently.

As Sarah grew so did Kevin’s job. He became very busy at the gallery came home late and I was not worried as the most important thing to me now was to take care of my daughter.

One evening suddenly we got a call from my neighbor in Ohio saying that my mother had a sudden heart attack while she was shopping for groceries and was admitted at the local hospital.

By the time I could reach my mother all I could realize was she was no longer for me. I cried for losing someone who guarded me all these years. Cried for not being there when my mother wanted me. Cried for ever leaving her. She was all fine the when we last spoke but now all I can feel is her cold skin. A reminder of disappearance again a lesson once taught by my father…


Chapter 9


Sarah turned three and it was two and half years since my mother left us. Now Kevin and Sarah are only ones I have in my life. Time was slowly healing the loss of my mother just like how it helped me once during what happened with my father.

It’s been really long since Kevin me and spoke. I find him very quite these days unlike the old ones where he used constantly talk to me listen to me and be there for me. I don’t know but all I could see was a huge bridge forming between us. A gap increasing with every passing day. Sarah became my only source of happiness.

I always remember my father saying history repeats but never understood until today when Kevin finally spoke leaving behind the silence after a long time and all I could realize was what happened with my parents the same thing is repeating in my life. Kevin decided to leave me and Sarah saying it was impossible for him to take the responsibilities or he was too young to have a kid and etc. All I could do was stand watch him leaving. Before he left he kissed Sarah good bye which my father never even did for me. But I am sure Sarah is too young to remember all this.


Chapter 10


"Life is a series of random events where the possibility of odds being even is impossible". That’s what my life has taught me.

It has been 17 years since Kevin left me and Sarah. I decided to move to Seattle where Amy was there. My only connection with this world after Kevin and Sarah.

I could never forget those words of my mother the night when I asked her to start seeing someone else. Just like how my mother loved my father I loved Kevin may be I am still in love with him waiting so that he would come back some day.

Sarah had been a beautiful child always understanding and was there for me making me proud of her in every decision of hers. I will always love her may be this is how my mother felt about me.

And here I am today back to my loneliness which my father once introduced. Embracing it all again silently.

The next morning awakened by the sound of the door bell thinking if it was Amy I went to open to the door and it was no longer a dream. Dreams do come true and it was Kevin in front of me.