Vetti Times ...

2011-11-09T15:01:00.001-05:00

Naa Ee Gunde Naa Adupu Tappi
Naa Ee Kannulu Neevaipu Tippi
Naa Ee Manasu Neethothi Kalipi
Nene Neelo Neeluvella Kalisi
Nee Aha Pedavi Oh Navvu Choopi
Mounamgane Ediedo Telipi
Naalo Unna Pranallu Nalipi
Nene Naaku Lekunda Cheysi
Edhi Prema Anukunthu Aduguesena Nenena
Ninnu Nene Evievo Adigesena Nijamena....

2011-06-09T14:55:00.004-04:00

Movie: Love Aaj Kal (2009)
Music Director: Pritam Chakraborty
Director: Imtiaz Ali
Lyrics: Irshad Kamil
Starring: Saif Ali Khan, Deepika Padukone, Neetu Singh, Rishi Kapoor
Song Title: Ye Doorian

Ye Doorian Lyrics

Yeh Doorian Aaann
Yeh Doorian Aaann

Yeh Doorian
In Raho Ki Doorian Nigahon Ki Doorian
Humraho Ki Doorian Fanna Ho Sabhi Doorian

Kyun Koi Paas Hai, Door Hai
Kyun Koi Jaane Na , Koi Yahan Pe
Aa Raha Paas Ya Door Mein
Ja Raha Janoo Na Mein Hu Kahan Pe

Yeh Doorian
In Raho Ki Doorian Nigahon Ki Doorian
Humraho Ki Doorian Fanna Ho Sabhi Doorian

Yeh Doorian Yeh Doorian
Yeh Doorian Aa

Kabhi Huwa Yeh Bhi, Khali Rahon Pe Bhi
Tu Tha Mere Saath ,
Kabhi Tujhe Milke, Lauta Mere Dil
Yeh Khali Khali Haath
Yeh Bhi Huwa Kabhi, Jaise Huwa Abhi
Tujko Sabhi Mein Paa Liya

Tera Mujhe
Kar Jathi Hai Doorian Satathi Hai Doorian
Tarsathi Hai Doorian Fanna Ho Sabhi Doorian

Kaha Bhi Na Mein Ne, Nahin Jeena Mein Ne
Tu Jo Na Mila
Tujhe Bhule Se Bhi, Bola Na Mein Yeh Bhi
Chahu Fasala
Bas Fasala Rahe Banke Kasak Jo Kahe
Ho Aur Chahat Yeh Jawan

Teri Meri
Mit Jani Hai Doorian Begani Hai Doorian
Haat Jani Hai Doorian Fanna Ho Sabhi Doorian

Kyun Koi Paas Hai, Door Hai
Kyun Koi Jaane Na , Koi Yahan Pe
Aa Raha Paas Ya Door Mein
Ja Raha Janoo Na Mein Hu Kahan Pe

Yeh Doorian
In Raho Ki Doorian Nigahon Ki Doorian
Humraho Ki Doorian Fanna Ho Sabhi Doorian

2010-12-09T10:55:00.002-05:00

The Devoted Friend

by Oscar Wilde
(1854-1900)

One morning the old Water-rat put his head out of his hole. He had bright beady eyes and stiff grey whiskers and his tail was like a long bit of black india-rubber. The little ducks were swimming about in the pond, looking just like a lot of yellow canaries, and their mother, who was pure white with real red legs, was trying to teach them how to stand on their heads in the water.

"You will never be in the best society unless you can stand on your heads," she kept saying to them; and every now and then she showed them how it was done. But the little ducks paid no attention to her. They were so young that they did not know what an advantage it is to be in society at all.

"What disobedient children!" cried the old Water-rat; "they really deserve to be drowned."

"Nothing of the kind," answered the Duck, "every one must make a beginning, and parents cannot be too patient."

"Ah! I know nothing about the feelings of parents," said the Water- rat; "I am not a family man. In fact, I have never been married, and I never intend to be. Love is all very well in its way, but friendship is much higher. Indeed, I know of nothing in the world that is either nobler or rarer than a devoted friendship."

"And what, pray, is your idea of the duties of a devoted friend?" asked a Green Linnet, who was sitting in a willow-tree hard by, and had overheard the conversation.

"Yes, that is just what I want to know," said the Duck; and she swam away to the end of the pond, and stood upon her head, in order to give her children a good example.

"What a silly question!" cried the Water-rat. "I should expect my devoted friend to be devoted to me, of course."

"And what would you do in return?" said the little bird, swinging upon a silver spray, and flapping his tiny wings.

"I don't understand you," answered the Water-rat.

"Let me tell you a story on the subject," said the Linnet.

"Is the story about me?" asked the Water-rat. "If so, I will listen to it, for I am extremely fond of fiction."

"It is applicable to you," answered the Linnet; and he flew down, and alighting upon the bank, he told the story of The Devoted Friend.

"Once upon a time," said the Linnet, "there was an honest little fellow named Hans."

"Was he very distinguished?" asked the Water-rat.

"No," answered the Linnet, "I don't think he was distinguished at all, except for his kind heart, and his funny round good-humoured face. He lived in a tiny cottage all by himself, and every day he worked in his garden. In all the country-side there was no garden so lovely as his. Sweet-william grew there, and Gilly-flowers, and Shepherds'-purses, and Fair-maids of France. There were damask Roses, and yellow Roses, lilac Crocuses, and gold, purple Violets and white. Columbine and Ladysmock, Marjoram and Wild Basil, the Cowslip and the Flower-de-luce, the Daffodil and the Clove-Pink bloomed or blossomed in their proper order as the months went by, one flower taking another flower's place, so that there were always beautiful things to look at, and pleasant odours to smell.

"Little Hans had a great many friends, but the most devoted friend of all was big Hugh the Miller. Indeed, so devoted was the rich Miller to little Hans, that be would never go by his garden without leaning over the wall and plucking a large nosegay, or a handful of sweet herbs, or filling his pockets with plums and cherries if it was the fruit season.

"'Real friends should have everything in common,' the Miller used to say, and little Hans nodded and smiled, and felt very proud of having a friend with such noble ideas.

"Sometimes, indeed, the neighbours thought it strange that the rich Miller never gave little Hans anything in return, though he had a hundred sacks of flour stored away in his mill, and six milch cows, and a large flock of woolly sheep; but Hans never troubled his head about these things, and nothing gave him greater pleasure than to listen to all the wonderful things the Miller used to say about the unselfishness of true friendship.

"So little Hans worked away in his garden. During the spring, the summer, and the autumn he was very happy, but when the winter came, and he had no fruit or flowers to bring to the market, he suffered a good deal from cold and hunger, and often had to go to bed without any supper but a few dried pears or some hard nuts. In the winter, also, he was extremely lonely, as the Miller never came to see him then.

"'There is no good in my going to see little Hans as long as the snow lasts,' the Miller used to say to his wife, 'for when people are in trouble they should be left alone, and not be bothered by visitors. That at least is my idea about friendship, and I am sure I am right. So I shall wait till the spring comes, and then I shall pay him a visit, and he will be able to give me a large basket of primroses and that will make him so happy.'

"'You are certainly very thoughtful about others,' answered the Wife, as she sat in her comfortable armchair by the big pinewood fire; 'very thoughtful indeed. It is quite a treat to hear you talk about friendship. I am sure the clergyman himself could not say such beautiful things as you do, though he does live in a three-storied house, and wear a gold ring on his little finger.'

"'But could we not ask little Hans up here?' said the Miller's youngest son. 'If poor Hans is in trouble I will give him half my porridge, and show him my white rabbits.'

"'What a silly boy you are'! cried the Miller; 'I really don't know what is the use of sending you to school. You seem not to learn anything. Why, if little Hans came up here, and saw our warm fire, and our good supper, and our great cask of red wine, he might get envious, and envy is a most terrible thing, and would spoil anybody's nature. I certainly will not allow Hans' nature to be spoiled. I am his best friend, and I will always watch over him, and see that he is not led into any temptations. Besides, if Hans came here, he might ask me to let him have some flour on credit, and that I could not do. Flour is one thing, and friendship is another, and they should not be confused. Why, the words are spelt differently, and mean quite different things. Everybody can see that.'

"'How well you talk'! said the Miller's Wife, pouring herself out a large glass of warm ale; 'really I feel quite drowsy. It is just like being in church.'

"'Lots of people act well,' answered the Miller; 'but very few people talk well, which shows that talking is much the more difficult thing of the two, and much the finer thing also'; and he looked sternly across the table at his little son, who felt so ashamed of himself that he hung his head down, and grew quite scarlet, and began to cry into his tea. However, he was so young that you must excuse him."

"Is that the end of the story?" asked the Water-rat.

"Certainly not," answered the Linnet, "that is the beginning."

"Then you are quite behind the age," said the Water-rat. "Every good story-teller nowadays starts with the end, and then goes on to the beginning, and concludes with the middle. That is the new method. I heard all about it the other day from a critic who was walking round the pond with a young man. He spoke of the matter at great length, and I am sure he must have been right, for he had blue spectacles and a bald head, and whenever the young man made any remark, he always answered 'Pooh!' But pray go on with your story. I like the Miller immensely. I have all kinds of beautiful sentiments myself, so there is a great sympathy between us."

"Well," said the Linnet, hopping now on one leg and now on the other, "as soon as the winter was over, and the primroses began to open their pale yellow stars, the Miller said to his wife that he would go down and see little Hans.

"'Why, what a good heart you have'! cried his Wife; 'you are always thinking of others. And mind you take the big basket with you for the flowers.'

"So the Miller tied the sails of the windmill together with a strong iron chain, and went down the hill with the basket on his arm.

"'Good morning, little Hans,' said the Miller.

"'Good morning,' said Hans, leaning on his spade, and smiling from ear to ear.

"'And how have you been all the winter?' said the Miller.

"'Well, really,' cried Hans, 'it is very good of you to ask, very good indeed. I am afraid I had rather a hard time of it, but now the spring has come, and I am quite happy, and all my flowers are doing well.'

"'We often talked of you during the winter, Hans,' said the Miller, 'and wondered how you were getting on.'

"'That was kind of you,' said Hans; 'I was half afraid you had forgotten me.'

"'Hans, I am surprised at you,' said the Miller; 'friendship never forgets. That is the wonderful thing about it, but I am afraid you don't understand the poetry of life. How lovely your primroses are looking, by-the-bye"!

"'They are certainly very lovely,' said Hans, 'and it is a most lucky thing for me that I have so many. I am going to bring them into the market and sell them to the Burgomaster's daughter, and buy back my wheelbarrow with the money.'

"'Buy back your wheelbarrow? You don't mean to say you have sold it? What a very stupid thing to do'!

"'Well, the fact is,' said Hans, 'that I was obliged to. You see the winter was a very bad time for me, and I really had no money at all to buy bread with. So I first sold the silver buttons off my Sunday coat, and then I sold my silver chain, and then I sold my big pipe, and at last I sold my wheelbarrow. But I am going to buy them all back again now.'

"'Hans,' said the Miller, 'I will give you my wheelbarrow. It is not in very good repair; indeed, one side is gone, and there is something wrong with the wheel-spokes; but in spite of that I will give it to you. I know it is very generous of me, and a great many people would think me extremely foolish for parting with it, but I am not like the rest of the world. I think that generosity is the essence of friendship, and, besides, I have got a new wheelbarrow for myself. Yes, you may set your mind at ease, I will give you my wheelbarrow.'

"'Well, really, that is generous of you,' said little Hans, and his funny round face glowed all over with pleasure. 'I can easily put it in repair, as I have a plank of wood in the house.'

"'A plank of wood'! said the Miller; 'why, that is just what I want for the roof of my barn. There is a very large hole in it, and the corn will all get damp if I don't stop it up. How lucky you mentioned it! It is quite remarkable how one good action always breeds another. I have given you my wheelbarrow, and now you are going to give me your plank. Of course, the wheelbarrow is worth far more than the plank, but true, friendship never notices things like that. Pray get it at once, and I will set to work at my barn this very day.'

"'Certainly,' cried little Hans, and he ran into the shed and dragged the plank out.

"'It is not a very big plank,' said the Miller, looking at it, 'and I am afraid that after I have mended my barn-roof there won't be any left for you to mend the wheelbarrow with; but, of course, that is not my fault. And now, as I have given you my wheelbarrow, I am sure you would like to give me some flowers in return. Here is the basket, and mind you fill it quite full.'

"'Quite full?' said little Hans, rather sorrowfully, for it was really a very big basket, and he knew that if he filled it he would have no flowers left for the market and he was very anxious to get his silver buttons back.

"'Well, really,' answered the Miller, 'as I have given you my wheelbarrow, I don't think that it is much to ask you for a few flowers. I may be wrong, but I should have thought that friendship, true friendship, was quite free from selfishness of any kind.'

"'My dear friend, my best friend,' cried little Hans, 'you are welcome to all the flowers in my garden. I would much sooner have your good opinion than my silver buttons, any day'; and he ran and plucked all his pretty primroses, and filled the Miller's basket.

"'Good-bye, little Hans,' said the Miller, as he went up the hill with the plank on his shoulder, and the big basket in his hand.

"'Good-bye,' said little Hans, and he began to dig away quite merrily, he was so pleased about the wheelbarrow.

"The next day he was nailing up some honeysuckle against the porch, when he heard the Miller's voice calling to him from the road. So he jumped off the ladder, and ran down the garden, and looked over the wall.

"There was the Miller with a large sack of flour on his back.

"'Dear little Hans,' said the Miller, 'would you mind carrying this sack of flour for me to market?'

"'Oh, I am so sorry,' said Hans, 'but I am really very busy to-day. I have got all my creepers to nail up, and all my flowers to water, and all my grass to roll.'

"'Well, really,' said the Miller, 'I think that, considering that I am going to give you my wheelbarrow, it is rather unfriendly of you to refuse.'

"'Oh, don't say that,' cried little Hans, 'I wouldn't be unfriendly for the whole world'; and he ran in for his cap, and trudged off with the big sack on his shoulders.

"It was a very hot day, and the road was terribly dusty, and before Hans had reached the sixth milestone he was so tired that he had to sit down and rest. However, he went on bravely, and as last he reached the market. After he had waited there some time, he sold the sack of flour for a very good price, and then he returned home at once, for he was afraid that if he stopped too late he might meet some robbers on the way.

"'It has certainly been a hard day,' said little Hans to himself as he was going to bed, 'but I am glad I did not refuse the Miller, for he is my best friend, and, besides, he is going to give me his wheelbarrow.'

"Early the next morning the Miller came down to get the money for his sack of flour, but little Hans was so tired that he was still in bed.

"'Upon my word,' said the Miller, 'you are very lazy. Really, considering that I am going to give you my wheelbarrow, I think you might work harder. Idleness is a great sin, and I certainly don't like any of my friends to be idle or sluggish. You must not mind my speaking quite plainly to you. Of course I should not dream of doing so if I were not your friend. But what is the good of friendship if one cannot say exactly what one means? Anybody can say charming things and try to please and to flatter, but a true friend always says unpleasant things, and does not mind giving pain. Indeed, if he is a really true friend he prefers it, for he knows that then he is doing good.'

"'I am very sorry,' said little Hans, rubbing his eyes and pulling off his night-cap, 'but I was so tired that I thought I would lie in bed for a little time, and listen to the birds singing. Do you know that I always work better after hearing the birds sing?'

"'Well, I am glad of that,' said the Miller, clapping little Hans on the back, 'for I want you to come up to the mill as soon as you are dressed, and mend my barn-roof for me.'

"Poor little Hans was very anxious to go and work in his garden, for his flowers had not been watered for two days, but he did not like to refuse the Miller, as he was such a good friend to him.

"'Do you think it would be unfriendly of me if I said I was busy?' he inquired in a shy and timid voice.

"'Well, really,' answered the Miller, 'I do not think it is much to ask of you, considering that I am going to give you my wheelbarrow; but of course if you refuse I will go and do it myself.'

"'Oh! on no account,' cried little Hans and he jumped out of bed, and dressed himself, and went up to the barn.

"He worked there all day long, till sunset, and at sunset the Miller came to see how he was getting on.

"'Have you mended the hole in the roof yet, little Hans?' cried the Miller in a cheery voice.

"'It is quite mended,' answered little Hans, coming down the ladder.

"'Ah'! said the Miller, 'there is no work so delightful as the work one does for others.'

"'It is certainly a great privilege to hear you talk,' answered little Hans, sitting down, and wiping his forehead, 'a very great privilege. But I am afraid I shall never have such beautiful ideas as you have.'

"'Oh! they will come to you,' said the Miller, 'but you must take more pains. At present you have only the practice of friendship; some day you will have the theory also.'

"'Do you really think I shall?' asked little Hans.

"'I have no doubt of it,' answered the Miller, 'but now that you have mended the roof, you had better go home and rest, for I want you to drive my sheep to the mountain to-morrow.'

"Poor little Hans was afraid to say anything to this, and early the next morning the Miller brought his sheep round to the cottage, and Hans started off with them to the mountain. It took him the whole day to get there and back; and when he returned he was so tired that he went off to sleep in his chair, and did not wake up till it was broad daylight.

"'What a delightful time I shall have in my garden,' he said, and he went to work at once.

"But somehow he was never able to look after his flowers at all, for his friend the Miller was always coming round and sending him off on long errands, or getting him to help at the mill. Little Hans was very much distressed at times, as he was afraid his flowers would think he had forgotten them, but he consoled himself by the reflection that the Miller was his best friend. 'Besides,' he used to say, 'he is going to give me his wheelbarrow, and that is an act of pure generosity.'

"So little Hans worked away for the Miller, and the Miller said all kinds of beautiful things about friendship, which Hans took down in a note-book, and used to read over at night, for he was a very good scholar.

"Now it happened that one evening little Hans was sitting by his fireside when a loud rap came at the door. It was a very wild night, and the wind was blowing and roaring round the house so terribly that at first he thought it was merely the storm. But a second rap came, and then a third, louder than any of the others.

"'It is some poor traveller,' said little Hans to himself, and he ran to the door.

"There stood the Miller with a lantern in one hand and a big stick in the other.

"'Dear little Hans,' cried the Miller, 'I am in great trouble. My little boy has fallen off a ladder and hurt himself, and I am going for the Doctor. But he lives so far away, and it is such a bad night, that it has just occurred to me that it would be much better if you went instead of me. You know I am going to give you my wheelbarrow, and so, it is only fair that you should do something for me in return.'

"'Certainly,' cried little Hans, 'I take it quite as a compliment your coming to me, and I will start off at once. But you must lend me your lantern, as the night is so dark that I am afraid I might fall into the ditch.'

"'I am very sorry,' answered the Miller, 'but it is my new lantern, and it would be a great loss to me if anything happened to it.'

"'Well, never mind, I will do without it,' cried little Hans, and he took down his great fur coat, and his warm scarlet cap, and tied a muffler round his throat, and started off.

"What a dreadful storm it was! The night was so black that little Hans could hardly see, and the wind was so strong that he could scarcely stand. However, he was very courageous, and after he had been walking about three hours, he arrived at the Doctor's house, and knocked at the door.

"'Who is there?' cried the Doctor, putting his head out of his bedroom window.

"'Little Hans, Doctor.'

"'What do you want, little Hans?'

"'The Miller's son has fallen from a ladder, and has hurt himself, and the Miller wants you to come at once.'

"'All right!' said the Doctor; and he ordered his horse, and his big boots, and his lantern, and came downstairs, and rode off in the direction of the Miller's house, little Hans trudging behind him.

"But the storm grew worse and worse, and the rain fell in torrents, and little Hans could not see where he was going, or keep up with the horse. At last he lost his way, and wandered off on the moor, which was a very dangerous place, as it was full of deep holes, and there poor little Hans was drowned. His body was found the next day by some goatherds, floating in a great pool of water, and was brought back by them to the cottage.

"Everybody went to little Hans' funeral, as he was so popular, and the Miller was the chief mourner.

"'As I was his best friend,' said the Miller, 'it is only fair that I should have the best place'; so he walked at the head of the procession in a long black cloak, and every now and then he wiped his eyes with a big pocket-handkerchief.

"'Little Hans is certainly a great loss to every one,' said the Blacksmith, when the funeral was over, and they were all seated comfortably in the inn, drinking spiced wine and eating sweet cakes.

"'A great loss to me at any rate,' answered the Miller; 'why, I had as good as given him my wheelbarrow, and now I really don't know what to do with it. It is very much in my way at home, and it is in such bad repair that I could not get anything for it if I sold it. I will certainly take care not to give away anything again. One always suffers for being generous.'"

"Well?" said the Water-rat, after a long pause.

"Well, that is the end," said the Linnet.

"But what became of the Miller?" asked the Water-rat.

"Oh! I really don't know," replied the Linnet; "and I am sure that I don't care."

"It is quite evident then that you have no sympathy in your nature," said the Water-rat.

"I am afraid you don't quite see the moral of the story," remarked the Linnet.

"The what?" screamed the Water-rat.

"The moral."

"Do you mean to say that the story has a moral?"

"Certainly," said the Linnet.

"Well, really," said the Water-rat, in a very angry manner, "I think you should have told me that before you began. If you had done so, I certainly would not have listened to you; in fact, I should have said 'Pooh,' like the critic. However, I can say it now"; so he shouted out "Pooh" at the top of his voice, gave a whisk with his tail, and went back into his hole.

"And how do you like the Water-rat?" asked the Duck, who came paddling up some minutes afterwards. "He has a great many good points, but for my own part I have a mother's feelings, and I can never look at a confirmed bachelor without the tears coming into my eyes."

"I am rather afraid that I have annoyed him," answered the Linnet. "The fact is, that I told him a story with a moral."

"Ah! that is always a very dangerous thing to do," said the Duck.

And I quite agree with her.

2010-11-29T11:44:00.007-05:00

Trip India Nov-2010

Granny: Shasu see it's your school bus.
Shasu: Ayyo Granny it's a city bus.

Amma: My3 neeku buddhi leda how many times do I have to tell you. Learn to call or text if you are coming home late. I can't stay awake the whole night waiting for you people.Irresponsible idiots....
Me: Amma buddhi undi kaani cell lo balance ledu.
Amma: Grrrrrrrr

Chinni: Akka you are so mean can't you see i just got one leg waxed can't you wait till I am done with the other one. Amma choodu... Akka I so hate you now...
Me: Chinni I love you muaaaaaah... I need to go for shopping...anyways who's going to watch your legs now :D... Muaaaaaaah
Chinni: Nee bondha poooo..

Subbiga: Arey this contains 40% alcohol too much asalu.
Sunny: Remaining 60% alcohol free adi choodu boss.

Shweta: Grow up moron. Can't you at least text your flight details. I need to plan ahead.When will you ever learn to be responsible???
Me: See shweta I love you so much that I came back just the way I am :D.......

Shanu: Jo sheese ke ghar me rahte hain wo basement mein kapde change karte hain...
Me: Mana inthilo basement ledu balcony undi :D....

Dipthi: Nee yebba chepedi vinnu.. Neeku endhuku leave it ra why do you want to involve in everything.
Me: Nenu Rajini Kanth evari mata vinannu
Dipthi: Nee bondha.. listen I love you muaaaaaaah...

Sunnu: Enti ra ee sari nenu decent ga and pradeep naa laga ayyipoyemu ( @ Rossa)
Me: Paraledu ra evariko okakari ekkeysindi kada...
Subbiga: Common dance I say...

Shanu: Chi cheduga undi.. I didn't like it.. ela taguthunarru meeru.
Satish Anna: Adi tequila shot deniki matram tequila shock :D....

Amma: My3 its 9:30am. You are getting late for your flight. You still haven't packed.
Chinni: Adi evaru nee daughter all she needs is 20 mins to the airport.
Me: I love you Chinni...

Chinni: I don't care if its Australia or India. You should put on the seat belt no matter what.
Me: Hmmmmmmmm Okay..
Chinni: What the heck where the hell is the seat belt????

Bebo: How can I ever be angry on you sweetheart. Meow Meow
ME: :)))))))
Bebo: You Idiot do you even care. You never do what you say and go on over committing.Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Me: :(((((((

Elisa Aunt: Suzie deniki inni combination's ela vacheyyii??
Amma: Hmmmmmm dani bondha chepedi ekkuva thinedi takkuva.
Me: Pulihora with bobbattu super asalu. Hot borrelu with hot ghee wah wah wah...
Elisa Aunt: Suzie deni teskuni velaley asaley nenu sugar patient.

Sunny: Don't forget to call me if we are going for a long drive. I feel like eating idly at station.
Me: Annayya its 11:00pm we are heading out get up.
Sunny: Szzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Me: Nee karma.

Me: @Vizag Central - I don't care what the bill is I will only pay the bill.
Chinni: Akka i will at least pay for the shoes.
Me: No way I will pay for everything I already told you.
Shopkeeper: Madam cash or card.
Me: Card ( The Visa Power)
Shopkeeper: Madam I am sorry you card doesn't work.
Chinni/Dipthi: Mundey chepemu neeku matter ekkuva bussiness takuva. We will pay.
Me: Hmmmmmmmm. I have balance in my card.
Chinni: Inka nuvvu moosko.

Me: How are you?
Chinni: Fine.
Me: Enti how are you annandhuke Fine aha.
Chinni: ROTFL idiot fellow.

Me: Neeku amma istama atta isthama??
Shasu: My3 Atta.
Me: Neeku daddy istama atta istama??
Shasu: My3 Atta.
Chinni: Shassuuuu i love yooooou...
Shasu: I lovely atta.
Me: Neeku my3 istama chinni istama?
Shasu: Nakku chinni atta istam..
Me: Nee yenkamma.

etc etc etc etc... Thanks you so much guys for always being there. I love you all so much. Just can't wait to hug you all again. Missing you guys already like crazy.

Love you Amma,Sunny and Chinni. Missing you tons. Muaaaaaaaah.

Common guys you are always on the list. Love you Subbiga,Sunnu,Satish Anna,Shanu,Shasu,Dipti,Bebo,Shweta,Partner. Thank you for you everything.

Missing you all, Muaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
My3.

2010-10-28T11:49:00.001-04:00

Ee gaalilo ooregu raagalalo
ee vela na manavini vinavaa
Ne oosule na gunde logillalo
daachaanule manasunu kanavaa
Nalo lo lona ninne choostunna
nuvve le na vida leni swaasalo
Roju nedalle ninne ventaade
kaalam kaada kadadaaka saagava

2010-09-24T22:31:00.000-04:00

Cars speed by me
Laughing people walk my way
I stand still

2010-08-29T02:50:00.001-04:00

I believe that life is different, but good;
that I bent but didn't break;
that you were good but not good enough;
that I am strong and getting stronger;
that there are always better days ahead;
that music cures a lot of ills;
that good friends are indispensable;
that bruised hearts will heal;
that tears dry up;
that life is beautiful, and so am I.

2010-07-22T23:25:00.000-04:00

You can look, but you can't touch
I don't think I like you much
Heaven knows what a girl can do
Heaven knows what you've got to prove

I think I'm paranoid
And complicated
I think I'm paranoid
Manipulated

Bend me
Break me
Anyway you need me
All I want is you

Bend me
Break me
Breaking down is easy
All I want is you

I fall down just to give you a thrill
Prop me up with another pill
If I should fail, if I should fold
I nailed my faith to the sticking pole

I think I'm paranoid
Manipulated
I think I'm paranoid
Too complicated

Bend me
Break me
Anyway you need me
All I want is you

Bend me
Break me
Breaking down is easy
All I want is you

I think I'm paranoid
I think I'm paranoid

Bend me
Break me
Anyway you need me
All I want is you

Bend me
Break me
Breaking down is easy
All I want is you

Steal me, deal me, anyway you heal me
Maim me, tame me, you can never change me
Love me, like me, come ahead and fight me
Please me, tease me, go ahead and leave me

Bend me
Break me
Anyway you need me
As long as I want you baby it's alright

Bend me
Break me
Anyway you need me
As long as I want you baby it's alright

2010-07-17T01:58:00.007-04:00

Lost & Found - Short Story

A little girl lost her favorite toy. The only toy she carried wherever she went. And by the time she could find it.Somebody else claimed for it. Lucky Somebody.

2010-07-10T04:29:00.005-04:00

For Better or Worse...

Its 3:50 in the morning. I listen to the rain above my roof, the raindrops trickle sexily down the windows of my sun-room taking me back to time where nothing ever made sense in life.

Childhood is actually deceptively hard - politics of the school, bickering parents, cruel kids, strict teachers, loads of homework, and of course the stupid dating and the lousy aftermath. It's hard to be a kid. Every day you have a million questions and your only course of action is to save them up and then ask an adult - why? why? because why? how come?

But perhaps being an adult is harder still; life continues to present you with an infinite amount of questions, but this time around, there's no one to ask why. In fact, you learn quickly that sometimes there is no why, no how come. It just is. And there's nothing you can do about it.

At times I feel like screaming out so loud that the voices in my head are heard not just to me.May be I am just a coward or too naive to do that.

Why do people come and go? I hate it when people come in and I hate even more when they walk out. Yes I still support the idea or believe in the concept of free will. I would never stop and ask WHY. You want to leave you are free to go. But just remember when you are walking out you are just crushing a part of me which can never come to life again.

I totally dislike this cliche about life giving and life taking away. I don't think there is actually a replacement for anyone. Everybody has there own share when it comes to love and loss.

Just like Daddy says 'IT IS WHAT IT IS'.

And finally, A worse thing happened, and so did something good. Now I believe they exist simultaneously, even if it seems incongruous. I walked out of love, shattered but alive. My life goes on, love & happiness, loss & grief, all of it together in a jumble that's hard to decipher sometimes. I'm still trying to figure it out. And I'm think I'm lucky. Not just because I still have some people, but because for a time I had...

P.S. I am not sad sad sad or depressed. In fact I am happy... All thanks to my miel. I am just trying to clean out all the rusting thoughts from my stupid mind..

2010-06-25T15:24:00.002-04:00

Well, it's true that I have been hurt in my life. Quite a bit. But it's also true that I have loved, and been loved. And that carries a weight of it's own. A greater weight, in my opinion. It's like that pie chart we talked about earlier. In the end, I'll look back on my life and see that the greatest piece of it was love. The problems, the divorces, the sadness... those will be there too, but just smaller slivers, tiny pieces...

2010-06-24T12:44:00.002-04:00

"One week, one strong. One scared, one bold. I am beginning to understand that there are no such things as absolutes, not in life, or in people. Like someone said, it was day by day, if not moment by moment. All you could do was take on as much weight as you can bear. And if you're lucky, there's someone close enough to shoulder the rest."

2010-02-25T15:50:00.001-05:00

Health secrets. Shhhhh.

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these?vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop.

Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?

A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories: animal,
mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are not animal, and they are not on the periodic table of elements, so that only leaves one thing, right? My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables.

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain - Good.

Q: If I stop drinking, will I live longer?

A: Nope. Drinking is a sign of individual statement and peace of mind. If you stop, you'll probably stress yourself to death in record time.

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: What's the secret to healthy eating?

A: Thicker gravy.

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? Cocoa beans... Another vegetable. It's the best feel good food around!

I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

Have a cookie... flour is a veggie!

2010-01-11T16:23:00.003-05:00

Things to do Before I die …

1. Inflict a violent death upon my computer. Go all Office Space on its ass, because damn it feels good to be a gangsta.

2. Learn what all the fuss is about Girl Scout cookies, ie: what the hell are thin mints?

3. Learn all the lyrics to Rapper's Delight (I said a hip hop the hippie the hippie to the hip hip hop, a you don't stop the rock it to the bang bang boogie say up jumped the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat...) and then slither around on a karaoke stage in a skanky sequined top, just because.

4. Burn all my journals, and my ....

5. Camp underneath the stars, contemplating life's greatest questions, such as who will pick Squash's bellybutton lint when I am gone.

6. Shave my head and get a cool tattoo on my scalp. Let my mother scream at me about it.

7. Have a slumber party for all my girl friends. Watch Disney movies, dance to the Dirty Dancing soundtrack, pay each other sincere compliments, drink ourselves silly on cosmopolitans and daiquiris.

8. Rent the use of a big well-stocked kitchen for 1 full day. Do my favorite things: chop veggies, play with phyllo pastry, make cheesecake, and freeze enough casseroles. Drink lots of good wine and .....

9. Finish my story, for peace of mind. Seal it in an envelope, and mail it to a fake address.

10. Plant a tree. Spit in the dirt where it grows to leave something of myself behind.

11. Write strongly worded letter to the Bank Loan people to the tune of "Haha you ****ers, just try to get a penny out of me now that I'm dead!"

12. Spend one night dancing in a club, by myself, to say thank you to my body for its usefulness. Request 'It's Not Right, But It's Okay' and dance on speakers for old times' sake.

13. Return to the beach where I grew up all my life and enjoy the sunset with my toes in the ocean; and tell him that even the bad times were good, that I've loved loving him, and that I'll visit him in hell if I get the chance.

14. Hug everyone I've cared for, goose a few when they're all weepy and touched.

15. Cut the electricity and read aloud to him by candlelight. - E. B. White's Stuart Little and Charlotte's Web.

Hope to be remembered that way :).

P.S. I am sure Haritha and Deepthi have smiliar list or may be exactly the same :D

2009-11-23T11:06:00.001-05:00

“Maybe mistakes are what make our fate... without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we had never veered off course we wouldn't fall in love, have babies, or be who we are. After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart... and if you're very lucky, a plane ride away”.

2009-10-02T21:41:00.003-04:00

When you smile, I smile with you,
When you cry, I feel it too,
You are my soul, my heart coming out to you,

Be my eyes when I can’t see,
Be my voice when I can’t speak,
Be my life when darkness creeps on me,

Hoo, sajna sajna sajna re,
Hai just sajna sajna sajna re
Sajna sajna sajna re
Hai just sajna sajna sajna re

Throw the stars that shine so bright,
Cross the sky and cross the night,
Making ways to be right by your side

Hold me close don’t let me go
Hold me tight don’t you say no
Save the love we have for ever more

Ho, sajna sajna sajna re,
Hai just sajna sajna sajna re
Sajna sajna sajna re
Hai just sajna sajna sajna re

Save me, when my dream catches fire
Spare me, in my only desire
Wake me, when the pain is over
Take me, now (Take me, now) ...2

When you smile, I smile with you,
When you cry, I feel it too,
You are my soul, my heart coming out to you,

Be my eyes when I can't see,
Be my voice when I can't speak,
Be my life when darkness creeps on me,

Through the stars that shine so bright,
Cross the sky and cross the night,
Making ways to be right by your side

Hold me close don’t let me go
Hold me tight don’t you say no
Save the love we have for ever more...

2009-09-27T15:48:00.003-04:00

Little Round Mirrors

All alone
On the floor
Next to your twin-bed box-spring and mattress
The door
Is ajar
From afar
You can hear bands practicing
And When they dream they all
Dream of somebody like you
Somebody who takes what they make
Twice as seriously as they could ever hope to do
And when you dream
You dream of a day...
When you find something you could love half as much
As you love all your little round mirrors
See yourself reflected in one, theres a hole in the middle
You can't seem to fill
Bring them home
Watch them go
All you know is you hope they'll hurry back
And you cry
Then you lie your frail body down
Like a penny on a railroad track
And even if they stay in touch
The past stays in the past
But every time
You crash a little bit harder than the last
And every time you crash don't you
Wanna find something you could love
Half as much as you love all your little round mirrors
See yourself reflected in one
There's a hole in the middle you can't seem to fill
A shooting star is
A little piece of
Cosmic debris desperately wanting to fall to earth
It doesn't get too far
It's not a real star
It's hardly even worth footnotes in your memoir
Shoulder to shoulder
Up on our tip-toes
Chewing our fingers
And craning our necks
Just to see
Quite the collection
Divide by section
It's just a surrogate connection leaving you all alone
On the floor next to your twin-bed box-spring and mattress
The door
Still ajar
There you are and now you're coming to stay until
You can find someone who will love you as much
As you love all your little round mirrors
Murdering your time in cold blood
There's a whole in the middle you can't seem to fill

2009-08-27T16:23:00.003-04:00

Aug 26th -

I am unsuspecting in my car when the radio serves me up a little piece of nostalgia:

Iris, by the Goo Goo Dolls.

I had just turned 15 the summer it first played on the air but i remember listening to it for the first during high school years. Close to a decade and I can still taste 2000 like it was yesterday.
I was in the middle of my first love. It was glorious and it was heady and it felt so ****ing important, like this was it. ( But of course time,things and people definitely change ...).
I remember talking on the phone for hours and sleeping until 1pm and stalking MTV to catch my favorite videos specially this song and those posters on my wall.I remember leaving home and moving to my grandparents basement and the dread of changing schools, leaving my friends, missing out.I remember the stolen kisses and the not knowing and the secrets, some shared, others kept.I still remember those tears and fears and learning what it means to be strong.

And I remember always, always turning the volume up when this song came on the tv,
and now for once really understanding what they were singing about.

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

2009-08-18T12:27:00.008-04:00

Murphy's Law

If life is governed by laws then mine for sure goes only with Murphy's Law ...

So some variations for the Murphy's Law :

Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged tone.

Celibacy is not hereditory.

When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

A short cut is the longest distance between two points.

Anything good in life is either 'illegal', 'immoral' or 'fattening'.

The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of the oncoming train.

Friends come and go, but enemies will accumulate.

Beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes to the bone.

Never argue with a fool people might not know the difference. ( I strictly follow this one )

Anything you try to fix will always take longer and cost more than you have thought.

In order to get a loan, you must first prove that you don't need it.

The chance of the slice of bread falling butter side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will . ( Now this is called the Law of Result happens to me almost everyday )

People with seats farthest from the aisle arrive last. ( Law of Theater)

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone with who you don't want to be seen.

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Murphy's Golden Rule : "Whoever has the gold makes the rules".

Murphy was an optimist

2009-01-11T16:10:00.010-05:00

Life is a Beach ...

I learned how to swim by the unrecommended method of throwing a kid into a pool and seeing what happens.

Here's what happened:

My first “swimming” lesson was when I was 5 and consisted not so much of swimming but of the “superman” maneuver. It was practiced at local club , where us kids were encouraged to push off from the sides and “glide” with arms outstretched until momentum prevented us from going any further. .

For some reason, I remember pool shopping only because I was to fascinated with the colorful plastic tubes and surf boards. My swimming classes were usually on the weekends and my father always made sure he was there in the pool with me since the pool had no access point or ladder, he could stand at the side and lift me over the edge.

Not yet being a swimmer, my mother blew up an inner tube for me, and tossed it in the pool. Then my father swung me over and tossed me at the tube. His aim was good, but remember that I was small, and I passed neatly through the donut hole and was quickly sinking towards the bottom.

My mother was around to see what promised to be the first jubilant splash, looked on, horrified, as the little me seemed to drown before her eyes. And, there being no ladder yet installed, and me being out of arm's length, there was no way to reach me. So she just stood there and watched.

I flailed my limbs but they just sliced through the non-resistance of the water. My little round body went down, down, down, and though too young to understand the mechanism of breathing, I felt the burning of water in my lungs, which seemed to scream up! up! Up! Somehow I managed to reverse my sinking body and I broke the surface of the water, spluttering and coughing. When I had sufficient breath, I yelled to my mom “Did you see me? I swam! I swam!” and she muttered her praise while looking at my father guiltily out of the corners of her eyes. I should have been a little pink blob on the bottom of the pool but instead I was clinging to the siding screaming at others to join me in my newfound splashy freedom. A smarter kid might have clutched to the inflated tube, but once I had defied death that first time, I wanted to go deeper, faster, longer.

Many years later, many swimming lessons later, I consider myself to be a strong swimmer, which is a good thing because this time I have been tossed into the metaphorical deep end, and once again, the flotation device is just out of reach.

Life throws you into these sink-or-swim situations and it's amazing how powerful our sense of preservation is. We paddle on, no matter how many waves crash over our heads, no matter how many stitches we have in our sides or how tired we get. But what happens when you are thrown into the dark and forbidding water not alone, but with a weaker swimmer?

These are the moments in life that are infinitely hard: the days when we've just been treading water; the days when we've been slipping under; the days when we can barely keep our heads above the water line. I don't want to drown while trying to save someone else, some days I don't even know that I can save myself, and yet I can't not try, I can't. So I'm trying not to drown, not to let either of us drown, but it's hard. It's hard enough to fight the current on your own, but with the extra burden, progress is slow, and sometimes the undertow is stronger than I, and I feel us both being pulled back out toward the uninviting expanse and I think how nice it would be to relax my muscles, take a few deep gulps of water and let swirling water suck me under. But other days I see the shore, or I think I see it, on the horizon, if I squint real hard and ignore the burning sun. I stroke through the water like crazy, hoping to feel the sand between my toes before long, and I tell myself to just keep swimming.

I am trying hard not to drown. Oh yes, life's a beach.

2008-12-28T16:37:00.003-05:00

Words Of Wisdom ...

Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

Drive carefully. It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.

If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a watergun and shoot other people in the eyes.

If you’re not part of the solution, be part of the problem!

If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

If you can’t beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Never buy a car you can’t push.

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don’t have a leg to stand on.

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

You are what you eat. So stay away from the jerk chicken.

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

2008-12-19T20:16:00.004-05:00

Grievances ...

I don't like straightening my hair only to find out that the heat index has other ideas.

I don't like when I have shampoo in my eyes.

I don't like the sky without the stars.

I don't like schedules and people who complain about my lack of punctuality.

I don't like people when they miss spell Zyr. ( Its pronounced as Zeer guys )

I don't like trench coats.

I don't like too sappy movies.

I don't like quite arugments.

I don't like people who doze off while talking to me over the phone. ( the only exception for this is ME )

I don't like getting up early morning.

I don't like washing my jeans regular.

I don't like people with blasting music from their handphone.

I don't like prematurely resurrecting winter sweaters because work is glacially over-air-conditioned.

I don't like people who just live on gossip.

I don't like tofu.

and yeah true this is a never ending list.

So you see I don't like not having anything to complain about (after all, it is part of my charm :D.) However, I find myself listing only the trivial complaints, and I'm awfully smiley despite it. So here I am the self proclaimed QUEEN of grumpy land.

2008-12-19T14:19:00.005-05:00

...

Sometimes, when I rent a car, and pay for the insurance, I feel obligated to smash into things just so I get my money's worth.

2008-12-17T19:06:00.014-05:00

Confessions : A Miracle Remedy

I am always pulled or rather forced to believe towards the saying " You can run but you can never hide " I mean yeah its so true at one point or the other we get caught if not by somebody at least by yourself. Funny right you getting caught by your own self yeah how long can you keep running from yourself.Honestly there are a bunch of different topics right in my pocket like love, my therapy my best friend, my weekend date, my love towards vodka, missing Brady boy, Boston Boston and Boston etc etc and keeping all these things aside I think of confessions that too in the peek hours of work. May be this why I am always refereed as the eccentric one.

Every event in life rather anything anywhere always has a beginning. A beginning which we would love to remember or a beginning which we always to want forget or rather keep running away from but fortunately or unfortunately few of the beginnings never end or may be we don't want them to just like mother love, the noise of the raindrops, the last sip of your coffee, warm wind, black and white films, the warmth you get every time you hug your loved ones, your secret crush list, love towards sampras more than tennis, the smile you get every time you do the naughty nothings etc etc...

As told earlier everything has a start and my start towards this post started with a phone call. Yeah a phone call from a budding friend :D clearly from a friend's friend. He was really worried for something he has done and I don't really blame him for that I mean as long you have a strong love towards your ego more than yourself things like these keep popping up and yeah an end for this" a small confession sets you free". Funny but so true coz after telling me what he has done he concluded just by saying now that I have told you everything I am all relaxed and fine. So here comes our miracle remedy called Confession for anything or everything.Works perfectly on almost every soul.

Remember the time when you were a kid still learning how to walk and how badly you want to walk without your mommy's help trying get on your feet but the time you take your first step all you know is you are flat on the floor crying for help and then starts your may be first confession with that innocent look on your face which I am sure is still your mother's favorite " Mommy I am sorry I will make sure from now on that I will take your support". and this is exactly where our never ending mistakes oooppppps our never ending list of confessions start.

Every time you see your crush/first love during high school all you do is confess to your heart by saying I will tell him tomorrow and you go on all your high school years without telling him but confessing to your heart that is there always a tomorrow and here starts your first heartbreaking confession and years later finally when you see him again but this time with your ex high school best friend your confess again to yourself by saying " (&*(&% How I wish I told him then anyways lucky (^$^&* " but still your confession remains close your heart and stay with you till the end of time and this just of the beginning of what you call the heart breaking confessions and my remedy for these heartaches is simple they are either a date with my fav vodka or a long drive, a walk on the beach and even if these aren't helping a long conversion with my mom over a cup of coffeee always does wonders for me.

I think in these 24 years of my life I have confessed may be ten naaaaaa hundred times more than what a sane man does in his normal life. I confess everyday from the time I get up to the time I sleep. My morning confessions starts with naveen or my mom apologising for not picking their calls the previous night coz I was really busy doing what snoring to glory :D trust me my sleep is very precious to me. All I do is tell them I love them so much that I would never do this again but the sinner in me makes me do it again and again no matter what making this morning confession of mine a mandatory one.

My friends find these really funny specially my mom coz every time my ice cream melts I confess to it that I would never make it melt again or whenever I go for a haircut I confess to it that I will definitely grow it again. Whenever I have shampoo in my eyes I confess that I will do it again trust me I really hate to have shampoo in my eyes.Every time I throw the empty Zyr bottle I confess to it by saying I will definitely get your twin or refill you soon.Every time I have tears in my eyes I confess to my eyes that I will cry again. Each time Chelsea looses to Manchester all I confess " Thank you god this is what I want not the MU winning but seeing Chelsea loose is real fun. Please make sure they loose over and over &^%$@!* they are so born to loose." I love to pull squash's tail and make him run and run and run and finally when he is all tired I confess to him saying I will never do this again but again the sinner in me wakes up and god save my poor squash. My everyday confessions are an endless list. But my day end confession tops my list all I do is sit and pray to God saying " Dear God I am a sinner I know even you are tired of my confessions by now but still this is what I done .... Please forgive me and at least give me a place in hell."

We all believe that few things remain close to us I mean we carry them along no matter where we go like love, laughter,tears etc confessions for sure fall in to one such category they are always with us whether we want them or not. and yeah just like how I don't know how my indefinite process towards solving love has started CONFESSIONS are also one such thing were we never know when they start or when they are going to end.

So finally " We can run but we can never hide" ....

2008-12-13T22:18:00.006-05:00

Unanswered Prayers ...

I used to pray for company. For another heart that bled like mine. Someone who felt as deeply as I did and knew both the blessings and the curse. I prayed from selfish, impure motives, without care for consequences. I tried to pray away the loneliness.

I used to pray for peace. For the walls to stop shaking and my bones to stop quaking. To stop the tears, or the blood, or the fear. I prayed from lack of faith, not knowing that strength grows out of weakness. I tried to pray away the pain.

I used to pray for protection. From the knowable and the unknowable. From the sadness that surrounds us, the unseen enemies and the isolation. I prayed without humbling myself, not trusting in the greater good. I tried to pray away the insecurity.

I used to pray for understanding. To know my own fortune and find a path that I could follow unafraid. To win without having gambled. I prayed for my own will to be done. I tried to pray away the peril.

I used to pray for salvation. To deliver my friends from the clutches of their addictions. To save them from themselves. I prayed without confessing my own sins. I tried to pray away the suffering, the stigma, and the guilt...

(P.S : All Credits and a Spl Thanks to Jay )

2008-08-06T18:46:00.009-04:00

I carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart) I am never without it
(anywhere I go you go, my dear and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)

I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true) and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you.

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart.

I carry your heart (i carry it in my heart) ...

Well alot of us know this as a poem from the movie In Her Shoes. Honestly even I heard it for the first time from the same movie and ever since its always been on my favorites.

"Here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart.

I carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)"

My fav lines in the poem have to admit E E Cummings is a wonderful poet. How I wish I could tune this into a beautiful song. Well really dont why I am posting this poem in my blog this is the first poem ever in my blog.

2008-08-01T19:32:00.002-04:00

Dieting Everywhere ....

The Buddha Message “A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand”

2008-07-26T22:50:00.003-04:00

The Coffee Effect
This is exactly what coffee does to me ooops i mean us :D ...

2008-07-11T18:11:00.023-04:00

Silence and Love ...

Chapter 1

Finally Sarah settled in London and was very happy with her new school and friends. Just like her father Contemporary Art was something in which she was really interested in and always wanted to purse her Masters. I felt very happy and proud of her when she got admission from one of the most prestigious Art Schools in London. After Sarah left, I am getting back to the loneliness which I never wanted to experience again. All I could learn from her frequent emails and phone calls is that she has plans of settling down in London. In spite of Sarah’s constant assurance that she would definitely stay in touch and her everyday phone calls still I am finding it difficult to beat this feeling which already took over me.

It’s just another winter in Seattle and for a change this time I am going to spend it with my new partner none other than my loneliness. I decided to move to a single bedroom condo which would be more than sufficient. I am finding the house too big just for me and it was a decision taken during the summer when Sarah’s admission got confirmed. Even she felt that it would be difficult for me to manage both the house and my job at the library. I decided to move in to the new flat by the end of next week and also I decided on quitting my job or planning to shift to a part time 3 days a week. Painful to realize that just like my daughter even the library doesn’t need my help anymore.

With the help of Amy, my one and only friend from the college only with whom I prefer staying in touch, I moved the things to the new condo. Most of Sarah things were posted to her and a lot of unwanted clothes and furniture were given to the local charity. Amy was a lot more worried than what I was feeling for myself. But she felt better when I promised her that I would call her everyday. We ordered Chinese that night and Amy left after an early dinner reminding me of my everyday phone call and promised to return the next weekend.

The new condo was on the sixth floor with a balcony and a beautiful view of the Lake Washington. Sarah would definitely love the place especially for the view. At last the first snow began drifting me back to the old memories which were the only things I could ever carry with me.

Chapter 2

All I could hear was my mother shouting Maya don’t go towards the waves wait until daddy comes but still I was running towards the water ignoring my mother’s scream’s then suddenly two strong arms lifted me and got hold of me tight. The arms that I would love to stay in and the only arms which can protect me. It was my daddy the most handsome man I have seen till date and he still remains as the first man I ever fell in love with. Playing with daddy was always fun. He carried me into to the water showing me the waves and trying to teach me colors. The first color he ever taught me was the color blue. Taking the sea water in his hands and teaching me “what’s the color of the sea my princess? Say Blueeeeee” and from then onwards blue became my favorite color and till date it still remains my favorite.

It was my birthday and I would be turning eight that year. Daddy for me a bunch of surprises the man who only wants me to smile and smile and smile. I used to love the picture frame titled Daddy’s Little Princess which had a picture of him holding me when I was just days old. Never remember him calling me by my name it was always princess, my darling, honey etc. Even this birthday daddy had a surprise for me. He planned an entire week at the Disney World. I jumped into his arms when he told me I would celebrate my birthday not at home but at the Disney World. I told him we wouldn’t celebrate it just for my birthday but will celebrate for the Best Daddy Ever. He felt so happy and was at same time very proud of me.

The week at the Disney’s was the best. Daddy carrying me on his shoulders making sure that I saw everything and taking photographs of me everywhere and sitting right next to me in every ride. In spite of mummy’s constant assurance that she will take care of me asking him to take rest he insisted that he would be with me. That was the first time I read the “The Three Musketeers” book and found the name perfect for my family. From then on we became the “Happy Three Musketeers”.

Chapter 3

It was the year I the entered my junior high school. As always mummy used to take care of my homework and studies and the major part which was fun was always with daddy. Being with daddy was always the best time for me, I used to talk everything to him about school, my friends and my secret crushes everything and as always he was there for me listening to me and teasing me on my crush list. He never missed a single parent teacher meeting and telling them how he is always proud of me. He always used to ask what I want to become when I grow up and what I want study and where? Always kept assuring me that "no matter what happens I would always remain as daddy’s little princess".

I successfully completed my junior high school and was waiting for the holidays to get over so that I can start with my first high school experience ever. I was all excited for staying four weeks at home with mummy and daddy. I am sure that daddy has definitely planned something for the vacation. The day which I never even dreamt was right in front of me. Mummy and Daddy fighting in front of me and mummy crying badly and then to a corner I saw a packed suitcase. I didn’t say anything went back to my room and started crying and for the reason I never knew. I thought daddy is leaving on an immediate office work and she didn’t like the idea of him leaving during my vacation. Later I was called for dinner by mummy was told then that "Daddy is leaving and he is leaving us for good. He wouldn’t be coming back to live with us".

I ran back into my room and locked myself and started crying. Now crying for a reason and reason is me. I thought I have done something very bad that daddy got hurt and he is punishing me by leaving me. He never came up to say good bye at least for the last time. I cried the whole night not bothering to come down and see what was happening with my mother. I remember coming down the next afternoon and mummy was still in her room crying. I went to back to my room and slept only hoping that all this is a bad dream and finally when I get up I will see daddy and mummy again together.

Weeks passed by and there was no news from daddy. My father teaching me a new lesson. "A lesson of disappearance. A lesson where nothing can be taken for granted and where people go and never come back". I blamed my mother for a while but gradually realized that it was never her fault and it was daddy who wanted to leave. I slowly started accepting my new life which only had me and mummy. From now it was mummy who started dropping me to school and picking me up. It was only she who was present for my parent teacher meetings or for my birthdays. It was painful to see only mummy sitting alone without daddy everywhere we went. Finally we accepted the fact and moved on. I decided to myself that I would never let man come close to me and do the same thing what daddy has done to us. Leaving us behind never cared to reply to our calls. Mummy wrote him many times asking him to call if not for her at least for my sake but still the silence remained.

Four painful years passed by. I wrote a lot of letters to daddy but never posted any. I saved them all in my secret box where mummy cannot find them. These years taught me a lot. So many things and feelings which I preferred to keep to me rather than sharing with anyone. I started living in silence just like how my daddy was living now. It was always my silence which spoke and thankfully mummy always understood.

Finally it was my graduation time and mummy was very happy that I would be going to college now and she was very proud of that. I decided to write to my father now for the last time. Inviting him for my graduation, to see his daughter whom he was always proud of graduate. The graduation day arrived and now as always there was no daddy present or there was a reply for the first and the last letter I ever posted to him.

Mummy could feel the disappointment in my face but even she knew that nothing could help me. That was the first time I learned that I would never see my daddy again or I should expect it. He is gone, gone way far from our lives no matter what we do he will never come back. This time there were no tears but a painful silence as always now that silence was from me leaving me a thought “Is daddy still proud of me”? My loneliness was expressed only through my silence and I started embracing it.

Chapter 4

Mummy wanted me to apply to best universities in arts but I told her that I wanted to attend a college which is close to home where I can come home every week and spend time with her. I had my own selfishness in this , I didn’t want to miss my mother too just like how I missed my father. She insisted that I deserver to study in better universities than the ones which were near by and explained me the benefits of studying in the top universities but still I never gave up on my decision and finally she agreed with mine. I told her I will be visiting her every week and I could really feel that happiness in her and all she said was she is really very proud of me.

My first day at college at freshman. Mummy came to drop me and as I was approaching the school all my emotions were mixed. I was happy that mummy was with me to drop me and at the same time thought of daddy when I saw a lot of kids with both their parents. I was early to homeroom, and as I took my seat I wondered who I might meet. There were some old and new faces. Everybody excited and happy in their own way.

I could see him waving towards to me and smiling and now walking towards us. It was Kevin my classmate from school we have always been together in many of ours classes but we never spoke much. He was my first crush back in junior high school. About whom I used to tell daddy everyday and daddy used to tease me with his name. As he approached us even my mother recognized him and as we spoke we understood that both of us again together in arts class. My mother instantly liked him and when she was leaving she was genuinely happy saying “Maya I am sure you will have fun.” But do remember that mama will miss you and love you loads. Will be waiting for the weekend. After she left I felt a little low for the first few minutes but as day went by everything was feeling great after a long time.

Chapter 5

Amy was my roommate a very calm but very friendly girl who was instantly there for me from day one. She was in the science class which was completely out of my syllabus and that’s something which I never tried to show any interest and even she left the same thing for arts. In spite of being in different classes we were still bonding well. That week when I went home I told mummy about my new friends especially about Amy but for my surprise she asked me about Kevin. I told her that there is nothing going around and we are just good friends.

Being in college was really good I was able to leave my silence behind and start talking and feeling happy once again. Kevin and me started talking, talking a lot in fact. In very short time he became very close to me. One day Kevin asked me out and it was Amy and my mother who was more excited then me.

In less than two weeks after our first date Kevin proposed and I instantly said yes. My fear of not believing in a man again was slowly being erased by Kevin. Now he was there for me just like how daddy taking care of everything in my life and listening to me and promising me he would always be there.

It was during that vacation that I met his parents. Both our parents being from the same town needed no long introductions and his parents recognized me and liked me immediately just like how my mother liked Kevin. His parents knew about my parents divorce but they never mentioned anything through out the dinner and I was really happy for that and told the same thing to Kevin and all he said was they really like you Maya now you don’t have to worry about anything. "I will always be with you ".

Finally all of us graduated and Amy decided to settle in Seattle and Kevin got a job in an art gallery in New York and I decided to go back and stay with mummy and then deicide.

Chapter 6

After the graduation Kevin and I returned back to our homes and we were with our parents enjoying the vacation. One day when I returned home from shopping I was surprised to Kevin home and before I could react he was on his knees asking me to marry him, proposing to me right in front of my mother. I couldn’t stop my tears, tears that ran out of happiness after a long and in less than a month we were married.

My mother loved and treated Kevin just like a son whom she never had. She was sure that he is the only person who can ever take care of me and keep me happy. We had to move to New York because of Kevin’s job in an art gallery there. This time my mother not worried but in fact very happy for my new life. That was my last dinner with mummy before we left to New York. I wanted to talk to her about this from a very long time but never did coz I never knew how she is going to react. But finally I thought the time has come for me to tell her or rather ask her. Later that night I told her that’s its high time she start seeing somebody else. After a long silence all my mother could tell me was that my father is the only man she ever loved and she wants to keep it only that way. She said it was impossible for her to love someone else in the same way and that was enough for me to understand that my mother decided to stay single for the rest of her life.

It was difficult for me to leave my mother coz this time I can’t promise on coming home every weekend. All I could tell her was I will call her everyday and asking her to take care.

Chapter 7

Life in New York was completely new for us. Things and people are very fast to catch up with. Kevin slowly started getting busy with work and me started getting used staying at home alone and waiting for him.

I made sure that I called mummy everyday and I was happy that even Kevin made it a point to talk to her as often as he can. We celebrated our first anniversary with both our parents at my mothers place and it was four months after that I learned I was pregnant. I immediately called up Kevin told him the news and asked him to come home and called up my mother who was equally happy. I never saw Kevin this excited until now. He asked if I would like to stay at my mothers place and I said I would prefer being with him any day. And for us the best days of our life just started.

Kevin was always there during my regular doctor visits and constantly assuring my mother that he would take care of me which he was really doing well.

Amy came to visit us the following week. She instantly agreed on being the godmother for our future child and was very happy by the way Kevin was taking care of me. Three of us decided on the names. If it was a girl we would call her Sarah or if it was a boy we would name him Michael.

Later that week my scanning was done and the result said it was a baby girl. We were all happy and waiting for baby Sarah. Amy left the next day promising to return soon and asking me to take care.

Winter had arrived and in the middle of December Sarah was born. I could see an extension of me in my hands now. The cute form of our love and our future was in our hands.

Chapter 8

After Sarah was born my mother offered to come and stay with us for a while and to help me in taking care of her. More than Kevin I felt I wanted my mother with me now. Sarah was the most beautiful thing ever happened to me she has the same nose like Kevin’s and same oval face and his high cheek bones but she’s got my black hair. I never wanted to leave her always wanted to be with her just like how my mother was always taking care of me .

Its Sarah now who is becoming her father’s little princess. Every time Kevin called princess it reminded me of my father. I wonder how he would react if he ever comes to know that I am married now and have a daughter but as always my thoughts and dreams about my father remained only as dreams which never came true.

Four months after Sarah’s birth my mother decided to go back to Ohio and I couldn’t stop her this time she felt she stayed for too long and as I learned to take care of Sarah now she decided to go. She asked me not worry and told her she would be visiting frequently.

As Sarah grew so did Kevin’s job. He became very busy at the gallery came home late and I was not worried as the most important thing to me now was to take care of my daughter.

One evening suddenly we got a call from my neighbor in Ohio saying that my mother had a sudden heart attack while she was shopping for groceries and was admitted at the local hospital.

By the time I could reach my mother all I could realize was she was no longer for me. I cried for losing someone who guarded me all these years. Cried for not being there when my mother wanted me. Cried for ever leaving her. She was all fine the when we last spoke but now all I can feel is her cold skin. A reminder of disappearance again a lesson once taught by my father…

Chapter 9

Sarah turned three and it was two and half years since my mother left us. Now Kevin and Sarah are only ones I have in my life. Time was slowly healing the loss of my mother just like how it helped me once during what happened with my father.

It’s been really long since Kevin me and spoke. I find him very quite these days unlike the old ones where he used constantly talk to me listen to me and be there for me. I don’t know but all I could see was a huge bridge forming between us. A gap increasing with every passing day. Sarah became my only source of happiness.

I always remember my father saying history repeats but never understood until today when Kevin finally spoke leaving behind the silence after a long time and all I could realize was what happened with my parents the same thing is repeating in my life. Kevin decided to leave me and Sarah saying it was impossible for him to take the responsibilities or he was too young to have a kid and etc. All I could do was stand watch him leaving. Before he left he kissed Sarah good bye which my father never even did for me. But I am sure Sarah is too young to remember all this.

Chapter 10

"Life is a series of random events where the possibility of odds being even is impossible". That’s what my life has taught me.

It has been 17 years since Kevin left me and Sarah. I decided to move to Seattle where Amy was there. My only connection with this world after Kevin and Sarah.

I could never forget those words of my mother the night when I asked her to start seeing someone else. Just like how my mother loved my father I loved Kevin may be I am still in love with him waiting so that he would come back some day.

Sarah had been a beautiful child always understanding and was there for me making me proud of her in every decision of hers. I will always love her may be this is how my mother felt about me.

And here I am today back to my loneliness which my father once introduced. Embracing it all again silently.

The next morning awakened by the sound of the door bell thinking if it was Amy I went to open to the door and it was no longer a dream. Dreams do come true and it was Kevin in front of me.

2008-04-23T17:02:00.004-04:00

Isai Gani - Mastero Ilayaraja

I always keep wondering what whould have happend to Mani Ratnam's Geethanjali without back ground music (symphony) or the same even with Mounaragam or Abhinandhana without the background score of the vilions and the piano..Punnagai Mannan without "Enna Satha intha Neram" or "chinnathai" from Dalapathi....

Difficult to imagine right? May be this is the reason why Ilayaraja is very special to me.

Most sucessful movies of the 80's and 90's and all I can recollect is IR. Its is considered as the golden era of music. Movies like Agni Natchthram, Nayagan, Anjali, Sitara, Alapana, Apoorva Sagotharargal, Saagara Sangamam, Rudraveena, Moondram Pirai, Shiva, JVAS, etc show tht he is not just a mere composer.He has composed more than 4000 songs in a span of 30 years...
A legendry composer forever in Indian music...For me he is the best in Orchestration and Background score.
A True Genious... A Lengend Forever ...

(P.S Still not completed more to come ...)

2008-04-13T21:58:00.003-04:00

BATMAN The good old caped crusader -yes we are talking about that crimefighter-that superhero-that protector of the innocent and weak.Batman Oh Batman with his Batmobile and Bat Cave. Hey have you ever wondered where his headquarters was? That super secret location hidden away from those badguys. Well somehow the “BAT got let out the cage” and someone has revealed where it is. See the Evidence above…………….

2008-04-13T21:53:00.003-04:00

Beauty is in the eyes of the Beholder–Have you heard that one-sure you have and by doggit when you start to disbelieve it something comes along to reinforce it. How the hell-oh let me stop-No How the Hell! you gonna tell me this is a picture of a beautiful woman—Well at closer inspection she’s really not all that bad- but beautiful? well maybe………………

2008-04-13T21:40:00.003-04:00

Either I don’t know what big is or this is the top-rated stupid game show answer. The thing about it is this game show contestant looks as though she still doesn’t understand why the answer given is wrong. The dumbfounded look on this woman’s face is a classic. I bet she still hasn’t gone back to work because I know she is the office joke around the watercooler. Now I know some of us choke under pressure but the pressure is not usually broadcasted on National TV. Dumb is all I can Say– Just Dumb………